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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699971">It's been a hell of a ride</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainCiella/pseuds/CaptainCiella'>CaptainCiella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Free!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Ambition, Breakfast in Bed, Childhood Friends, Clubbing, Conflict, Date but unofficial, Discovery, Dreams, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Eating, F/M, FINALLY IT'S HAPPENING, Fanfiction, Flight got cancelled, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Foreign Language, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, I may add some other tags later because I can't think of all of them, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Internal Conflict, It's still pg-13 don't worry, Kissing, Language Barrier, Loneliness, Love Confessions, Mild Sexual Content, Morning Kisses, Museums, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period Typical Attitudes, Pining, Plans For The Future, Reader-Insert, Restaurants, Self-Discovery, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Solo travelling, Strangers, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Travel, World Travel, cliche tropes, hope you enjoyed too, i'm just throwing my insecurities in this fic as well i'm sorry, sorry for the vent at the end, there are too many tags</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:40:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainCiella/pseuds/CaptainCiella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div>
  <p></p>
  <blockquote>
    <p>You freshly graduated from university after a year of struggling over your dissertation. You were finally done, achieved a first-class honour and to reward yourself from all the accumulated stress, you booked a one-month trip around the world with your best friend Natsuya. He was always travelling while you were completing your degree that you got envious of him and asked if you two could travel together — as you were childhood friends, you once promised that you would travel around the globe together one day, it seemed the perfect timing to fulfil the promise and to enjoy a little more of your youth and to relax before the daunting world of work, probably much more stressful than university.<br/></p>
  </blockquote>
</div>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kirishima Natsuya/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic involves travelling around the world, please feel free to pick a country of your choice and imagine yourself there; I tried to be as abstract in the description of the landscape and the atmosphere so I hope you can travel wherever you want through this fic, so... Please dream big!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You freshly graduated from university after a year of struggling over your dissertation. You were finally done, achieved a first-class honour and to reward yourself from all the accumulated stress, you booked a one-month trip around the world with your best friend Natsuya. He was always travelling while you were completing your degree that you got envious of him and asked if you two could travel together — as you were childhood friends, you once promised that you would travel around the globe together one day, it seemed the perfect timing to fulfil the promise and to enjoy a little more of your youth and to relax before the daunting world of work, probably much more stressful than university.<br/>
<br/>
When you proposed him the idea, he didn’t hesitate on accepting. He had plenty of savings that he yearned to spend but didn’t know how. Soon after, you started building plans and paths for the world trip, selecting the countries you wanted to visit the most and looking for touristy places as well visa information for each; you didn’t want to be considered as an illegal immigrant during your trip. It took some time and arguments on defining your budget to book flights and youth hostels but eventually, as soon as they were done, you were already packing for one month overseas.<br/>
<br/>
Choosing which clothes you would pack was another ordeal. You had plenty of little dresses and pairs of jeans that you really liked and wanted to take with you. And shoes. Part of you thought that a pair of white trainers would do while the other half begged you to take two pairs of high heels, a pair of boots and two pairs of trainers. It seemed impossible to fit your whole life in a backpack, even though it was made for backpacking. Natsuya, in the other hand, didn’t struggle to choose, as 1) he was used to taking the minimum, 2) he was a guy and he didn’t need hundred of clothes depending on the occasions — he only needed a two-piece suit, a pair of Oxford shoes and eventually a necktie or a bow tie. Speaking of this outfit, you had never seen him wearing it; you even doubted if he owned one but he told you he always packed one just in case. You wondered what <em>just in case</em> meant — you teased him about going on dates with foreign girls but he denied it, unwilling to admit that he had indeed met cute girls abroad.<br/>
<br/>
Needlessly to say that you were actually slightly jealous of him dating girls all around the globe while you were pulling all-nighters to research for your dissertation in the university’s library. You indeed chose to do a degree and focus on it but you had to admit that you envied him of being free and enjoying his life. Given the timetable you had, you could have easily met Tinder dates between your lectures and seminars and even have a stable relationship — you didn’t, as a certain hot childhood friend was always wandering in your thoughts.<br/>
<br/>
A certain boy named Natsuya.<br/>
<br/>
It took you years to figure out your feelings for him and when you did, you couldn’t even try to stop them — he was always waking them up with a simple, innocent smile making your heart flutter. You were friends since you were born and he was literally the boy next door: your parents were friends and every day, you would be coming back home together and play in the neighbourhood square after school until your parents call you for dinner, eventually eating together. Even if he had his own little brother, he had his big brother side with you though you were the same age that you couldn’t help but rely on him when you needed without hesitating. At some point, he was no longer a protective, caring big brother and the thought hit you when one of your friends asked you if you were dating him — if not, she would confess. She did, Natsuya declined and you remember scolding him for turning down such a pretty girl like her; he didn’t understand your anger and he wasn’t interested in girls after all. You were no exception, he didn’t even see you like one, he never paid attention to you — he cared for you as he cared of Ikuya and although you were content of the feeling, you needed <em>something else</em>, but not <em>more</em>. You didn’t crave for more attention or more time with him – you wanted something else than the relationship you already had with him. Contrary to Ikuya, he always wanted you to tag along with him, though he never said it directly. Naturally, you went to the same schools, except for the firsts years of high school when he went to America to focus on swimming. He eventually came back for the last year and you were the manager of the swimming club as it has always been since secondary school; you kept the same routine as children even after a few years of not seeing each other. You weren’t playing in the square but more procrastinating in either his bedroom or yours until your parents call you for dinner. You weren’t an exception to all the girls yet you somehow felt special to him — <em>but aren’t all childhood friends special?</em><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
When you graduated from high school, it was the first time you felt that your routes parted – when he went to America, it was with the certainty that you would see him again; now, it seemed that he would never come back to you. It wasn’t a surprise for you when he told you he was going to backpack to swim all around the globe as a freelance after graduation. He was this carefree, determined, wandering spirit that no one could stop from his ambitions. He was meant to travel and explore the world; he had this desire since secondary school before he left for America, and you had argued over it for quite a long time, to the point that it almost threatened your friendship. You couldn’t picture a life without him — and you were still denying your feelings at the time — and seeing him dreaming big had made you doubt of your future, as he seemed fearless and eager to leave the nest. You eventually came to understand him and find your own way and encourage him. Still, the thought of him going far away from you twinged your heart as you were not only used to but also attached to his presence next to you, all the time, whenever you needed him. You would eventually get used to, and as a way to tell him your feelings, you just let him go as he wanted — you certainly didn’t want him to feel tied up by your feelings.<br/>
<br/>
There was always this fear in you that when he will come back home for the New Year, he would have a girlfriend and you would be introduced to her as his childhood friend living next door. You would be glad to be called such but deep down, you wished to be called differently. Being friends was one thing, being lovers was another one; you wanted to explore this one like he explored the world. Nevertheless, you let him go — after all, you couldn’t stop his ambitions and the time to part ways had come. You had your own dreams and ambitions as well and no one was there to stop you, why would you be the one who would stop others?<br/>
<br/>
You kept in touch during your degree and he came to visit you once a year between his competitions. You never thought he would take some time to see you as he left the country in such way he would not see any of you for a while — it wasn’t a farewell but there was neither a promise of seeing each other regularly; when he told you he would pay a visit, you knew your days and nights would be turned upside down for the next few days. When he left, he always promised he would come back soon — and indeed he did visit you once a year.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Your backpack was finally done. It took days but you didn’t leave it undone until the last minute. You were taking off in two days, which left you plenty of time to tidy up your room and relax a little bit before the borders checks, the waiting time and the long hauls flights on a seat too narrow for you. It was the price to travel low-cost as young adults and you didn’t really mind as you would be flying in the night, meaning sleeping for the whole journey.<br/>
<br/>
Actually, after your first long haul, you almost regretted it — you were so worn-out of having overslept. You arrived in the morning, soon after the sunrise and completing the immigration papers were an ordeal; Natsuya had done them before landing and you quoted him, he didn’t want to wake you up because you <em>seemed to have nice dreams</em>. You wished he woke you up as you didn’t remember your dream anymore.<br/>
The morning was difficult, you had to get caffeinated to keep on with the jet lag and your sore muscles. Soon after the border checks, you swapped to SIM card into a local pre-paid one and withdraw some cash. Thankfully you were able to survive the whole day walking and exploring (with getting lost!) the city centre and the hot spots until you arrived at the youth hostel. You confirmed both reservations as you were the one in charge of it. After you entered the dorm, you collapsed on your bed, not even changing into pyjamas — you didn’t even fight with Natsuya on who would take the top bunk.<br/>
<br/>
You woke up in the middle of the night, hearing a snore above you. It wasn’t Natsuya’s, you knew it but couldn’t help but wonder if he snored. Still worn out, you didn’t even check what time it was; you managed to get out of the bed, feeling terribly dirty — you were still wearing your leggings and sweater from the day before and your breath smelled awful. Discreetly, you sorted your things out in your personal locker and got ready to jump in the bathroom.<br/>
<br/>
“[Name]?” Natsuya called you in a whisper.<br/>
<br/>
You looked above your bed. He was reading a book, lied down. He was as exhausted as you given his eye bags yet it seemed that he couldn’t fall asleep because of the time difference.<br/>
<br/>
“Natsu?” you replied back.<br/>
“How are you?”<br/>
“Dead,” you said, containing a sarcastic chuckle. To be honest, you didn’t want to speak to anyone right now, even him as you absolutely needed to feel clean and refreshed. “I’m gonna take a shower, see ya.”<br/>
“Are you hungry?”<br/>
<br/>
You hadn’t eaten since you landed but your stomach wasn’t feeling particularly empty. You needed to eat at some point but the first thing you absolutely needed was water right now.<br/>
<br/>
“Kinda,” you said as you finally checked the time on your phone. Three in the morning. “I’m gonna wait for the morning.”<br/>
“There’s a vending machine in the reception,” he said as he woke up, stretching a little before taking his wallet. “I’m gonna fetch you a sandwich. Go take your shower,” he said as he pushed you out of the room.<br/>
“Oh thank you.”<br/>
<br/>
There was no one in any of the shower cubicles — it was three in the morning after all — so you hummed your favourites songs without being embarrassed and took plenty of time to wash your hair, face and body. You took even more time for your skincare after your shower, to the point that it had been almost three quarters that you have locked yourself in the shower room.<br/>
<br/>
When you came back into your room, Natsuya was sleeping despite the loud snoring resonating in the room. He left you a sandwich, a bottle of freshwater and a snack next to your pillow that you devoured before you went quickly wash your teeth before going to sleep again.</p><p> </p><p>•</p><p> </p><p><br/>
“Wake up...”<br/>
<br/>
You whined as you heard his insisting, impatient voice. You nearly screamed when you saw his face close too close to yours as soon as you opened your eyes. How dare he.<br/>
<br/>
“Come on, get up, we have things to do,” he said as you rubbed your eyes and yawned. “You’re sleeping too much,” he complained, forcing you to get up.<br/>
“I know,” you groaned, stretching.<br/>
<br/>
You quickly got changed, washed your face and did a light makeup before joining Natsuya who was waiting for you for breakfast. It was still early in the morning and it took some time before you got used to the bright light and the new time zone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's still quarantine time and I guess many of us want to travel and go outside. It's Easter break right now and I was originally planning on travelling a little and relax before writing my essays but turns out that we're all stuck inside. Though I enjoy being at home, I sometimes dream of travelling and seeing the outside world - and I even make plans, check flights prices and spend my time on Google Maps just to have this feeling of "going outside" and somehow travelling. Yes, it's very silly but at least, it's low cost...Anyways, this is how this fic came out and well... Hope you'll enjoy the little travelling experience. I didn't mention any country name nor detailed too much the environment but I still feel like they went to Westernised countries... Sorry for that! I really never travelled outside of Europe and Western countries in general -- but I definitely will in my life, not now but someday, I really hope I can get to travel like Reader and Natsuya. </p><p>Thank you for reading and take care!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it was the high season, touristic places were crowded soon after their opening, even in weekdays. You were glad you booked your spot for the national museum exhibition so you could skip the queue and enjoy masterpieces without too much noise around. You discreetly shared your comments on each piece, posed with antique statues and made your way towards the temporary exhibitions. Seeing all the cultural heritage with your own eyes was fulfilling as you remembered skim-reading travels guides, watching dozens of videos and reading blogs about travelling and visiting these places in real life was way different. You had plenty of impressions to share and thanks to Natsuya, you could, because if you had solo travelled (which you wanted to try someday), you would have no one to speak and share with — you would have to save them for your return and you know yourself, you would have forgotten small details among the flow of impressions that a trip could leave on you.<br/><br/>It was midday when you finished visiting the museum. You both were hungry so you looked for places to eat using a travel app filtering the best restaurants to eat near your position. You picked the most positively rated which was a few metres away and as it was soon the end of lunchtime for most people, seats were quickly available for the two of you.<br/><br/>It was a simple local restaurant with local food, which you both wanted to try the first day of trip — you planned on doing so in every country; and you didn’t regret as it tasted delicious and inspired and motivated you to cook more back home. While eating, you made little changes for the plans of the rest of the day as you wanted to see more and different places as you talked in the city. Your route had slightly changed and as soon as you were finished and paid, you headed towards the next spot to visit.<br/><br/>You walked down the high street, enjoying the refined and unfamiliar architecture of the city, taking photos at every corner that you found beautiful — you couldn’t stop but keep your eyes up, thing that Natsuya told you to avoid as it made you appear careless and distracted, making it easier for ill-intentioned people to spot and scam you.<br/><br/>“I know,” you said to reassure him though you knew it was pointless as he would be worried anyway.<br/><br/>You spent the rest of the day wandering in the city main garden and relaxed looking at mothers keeping an eye on their children playing with ducks near the pond. As you watched them, you reminded each other of your childhood and recalled the days when you were playing in the square after school — you talked about some old friends with whom you still kept in touch but also about those who you didn’t and imagined their lives right now. What if you met one of them in the next few days? You wouldn’t recognise them but it was certainly not impossible, no matter how the world was big.<br/><br/>After a few hours spent in the garden, you took a short bus ride to get in the city’s most lively neighbourhood to grab something to eat and drink before the bars get crowded because of youth hostels pub crawls. Maybe you would take part in one of them during your trip but now, you were exhausted of the first day that you wanted to go back, take a shower and lay down on your bed. Natsuya seemed to feel the same as he wasn’t as talkative as in the morning. He wasn’t to blame as you were too worn-out to make sentences and sometimes, a comfortable silence between you was all you needed to enjoy the day. After eating local again, you took the bus to get to your youth hostel.<br/><br/><br/>Somehow the rest of the week felt similar to the first day — not that you visited the same places but waking up at the same time, taking the bus or the underground, wandering in new streets, shopping little souvenirs... Of course it was exciting to see new landscapes and architectures styles, eating new things but maybe the schedule was too busy for you and you already needed to take a break from all the city’s endless bustling. Thankfully you were leaving tomorrow and didn’t regret your stay there, though by the end you felt a little bored of what you could do. It was indeed a charming city, full of history and heritage as well as a diversity of cultures but your mind was full of information that you couldn’t process. It was the kind of city that you visited once to get a taste of it and come back months, years later to relive the moments spent there. It wasn’t where you felt home — it was where you were restless, constantly moving around.<br/><br/><br/></p><p><br/>•<br/><br/></p><p><br/>You arrived at your next destination early in the morning (the flights were the cheapest) and surprisingly you had gotten used to the jet-lag quite easily. You didn’t make the mistake of not filling your immigration papers after you landed so you could quickly hop on a bus to the city centre. Natsuya seemed quite exhausted as he didn’t speak a lot as he did during your first flight – he spent half the journey catching up on his sleep. After all, he was the one who woke you up every morning during the previous week, you would understand how he must have been tired of waking up early just to see you asleep, even after your alarm clock had rung.<br/><br/>The hostel allowed you to check-in at 10 am and as soon as you could, you let your backpack in your dorm, taking with you a smaller backpack to explore the city. You stopped at a local café to grab a quick breakfast. After a shot of espresso, you both were awake again and ready for walking and visit touristic places for the rest of the day. You spoke about how different the architecture was compared to the previous country you visited, though both countries were influenced by each other and had years of common history. Seeing all those cultural differences were enriching and inspiring, fuelling your desire to travel even more.<br/><br/>Soon you were hungry again and decided to stop at a local restaurant to eat lunch. However, it hadn’t been as in the café you stopped earlier in the day. You didn’t receive a menu in English as you expected and the staff could hardly understand your order. It was surprising as it was a popular touristy city but maybe they weren’t just familiar with your accent. Natsuya had some basics of the language but too little to be understood. In the end, the only thing he was able to say was: could you speak English? — and the answer was negative, making you use a translating app.<br/><br/>In the first country, it was easy to communicate in English with everybody: from the hostel staff to the travellers, the conversation went smoothly and never did you have trouble to be understood. Even speaking to the locals in English wasn’t an issue as they hardly had an accent and even those who called themselves “not fluent” were very comfortable telling you directions and giving advice on places to visit next. In this country, it felt like it was playing the lottery: either you would stumble into someone who barely speaks or someone who’s so fluent it scares you. Visiting touristic places such as museums was okay language-wise as most of the staff spoke English on a daily-basis and most of the visit were with audio guides so you didn’t have much trouble. Though once you were done visiting, you had to get into the mindset that nobody understood you even if you did the biggest and the most explicit gestures to say what you meant. Thankfully you knew the gestures to avoid being offensive but it frustrated you both of struggling so much. You only had the basis and even with them, it was an ordeal to get what you wanted.<br/><br/>Though it was annoying after a day, you both came to the realisation that it wasn’t such a big inconvenience — meaning that you could debate on a taboo topic or do dirty jokes without having offended and disgusted glances around you. You could talk about controversial political topics and societal issues without omitting your arguments in case people were unintentionally eavesdropping. It was funny for a day but it ended up becoming frustrating when you came back to the hostel and tried to socialise with your dorm mates as they were all from the same group of friends, natives of the country in summer holidays — it was impossible to tag along them or ask them out for a drink.<br/><br/>Nevertheless you went out for drinks at some point only by yourselves as taking part in the hostels pub crawl event seemed pointless given your difficulties to communicate. You went in the liveliest neighbourhood of the city, full of young people and travellers and grabbed some drinks in a bar before going to a club nearby. You never thought you’d go in a club with Natsuya as you used to house parties with him since high school, when you started drinking. Though you did and at the second you went on the dance floor with him, it was as if it had been forever since you haven’t danced with him. You were both pretty tipsy — drunk, but you both denied it. You were still aware of your surroundings and walked approximately straight but your voice was higher than usual and you laughed at everything he said — so did he. Sometimes you were so close due to people pushing around to have their space on the crowded dance floor — close enough for your lips to brush together, but as you weren’t that drunk and had some decent self-control, you summoned all your willpower to not pull him for a kiss.<br/><br/>It was so crowded and hardly breathable on the dance floor that you decided to take a break to the bar where you ordered a few shots before Natsuya shouted something near your ear that you hardly heard because of the music.<br/><br/>“I need to go to the bathroom,” he shouted for the third time, finally getting you to understand. “Stay there okay? Don’t move, okay?”<br/>“Okay, I’ll text you if I do so,” you replied back.<br/><br/>And now, you were alone at the counter, hesitating to order another drink even though you knew your wallet had suffered enough for this night – but you really wanted to drink as it had been a while since you haven’t enjoyed the taste of alcohol.<br/><br/>“Hi,” a voice caught your attention.<br/><br/>You didn’t have trouble hearing it as he moved closer to you. Moreover, you could understand it even with alcohol in your veins – he was probably a tourist like you.<br/><br/>“How are you?” he asked, hoping to be heard despite the loud music.<br/>“Good and you?”<br/>“Good! Are you alone?”<br/>“No, I’m with a friend and you?” The word “friend” itched you but what else could you say?<br/>“Same but they’re smoking outside!” he complained.<br/><br/>You didn’t have the habit of talking to strangers in clubs but it seemed that this one was the exception. Maybe you were high enough because normally, you would back off. However, you could understand him, the only thought of it made you so glad to not struggle over a simple conversation. <br/><br/>“By the way I find you really pretty!”<br/><br/>Your heart skipped a beat, flattered but surprised by the comment as you were rarely told so — you knew yourself and had some self-confidence to tell yourself some days that you were beautiful but being told so by a stranger was a different feeling.<br/><br/>“Thank you!”<br/><br/>Despite the dark lights and the poor luminosity of the bar, you could see his features: a sharp jaw, a tanned skin, an imposing stature... well he looked pretty hot, but <em>not as hot as a certain person</em> — you blushed at the thought as this certain person didn’t pay a single attention to you.<br/><br/>“Mind if I pay you a drink?” he asked.<br/>“Well, no, go ahead! You’d be saving my wallet!” you confessed despite yourself. Alcohol spilled all the truth, you knew it and maybe you were giving false hope to this guy — but he seemed nice and you were in the mood of socialising.<br/><br/>He ordered your favourite drink and you talked — shouted — to each other, getting to know each other. The conversation was rather smooth and you were surprised by yourself as you hardly went and socialised in clubs during university. It was flirty, you couldn’t deny it and you somehow enjoyed the tension between you two, despite the fact that you were hopelessly in love with Natsuya. Regardless of your feelings for him, you let yourself being kissed by the guy after a few minutes of chit-chat and caught yourself enjoying it. It wasn’t your first kiss and even if it was, you didn’t really mind — you had to have your firsts one day. He tasted your favourite drink — he has ordered the same — and the more you looked at him, the hotter he looked.<br/><br/>You broke off the kiss as you heard your name being shouted out — it was Natsuya.<br/><br/>“You took a while!” you said, trying to look as usual.<br/>“Guys were queuing,” he replied. “Who’s is he?” he asked, seeing the guy you just kissed — you didn’t even know his name.<br/>“Oh I’m sorry I haven’t introduced,” he said, “I’m Finn, we just met,” he continued, offering his hand.<br/>“I’m Natsuya, nice to meet you,” he replied, shaking his hand.<br/>“Nice to meet you as well. My mates are coming back soon, wanna dance all together?”<br/>“That would be great,” you both exclaimed with Natsuya.<br/><br/>Indeed his friends came soon after and you rushed to the dance floor, quickly finding a spot and dancing, wiggling your hips on the rhythm of the music, hands in the air. You stayed with Finn, visibly continuing the flirting game — you kept on staring each other’s eyes, longing for the other to initiate a kiss but it never happened. Meanwhile his hands took the freedom to be around your waist, pulling you against him. Though it didn’t bother you nor made you uncomfortable, you let him do so — it was rather pleasant but you couldn’t help but shooting some glances towards Natsuya who was socialising with his friends. Thankfully there was no girl in the group — he would have flirted with her and you weren’t sure you would be able to contain yourself, even you were flirting with another guy. On the contrary, <em>because</em> you were flirting, you had no argument whatsoever to be mad at him.<br/><br/>The last music finished — you didn’t notice it was that late — the night was wrapping up and the lights switched on, allowing you to see more clearly Finn’s face. You weren’t disappointed, he looked even more handsome.<br/><br/>“You look even more beautiful,” he whispered before letting you go of his embrace.<br/>“Thank you...” you said, awkwardly blushing.<br/><br/><br/>You all exited the night club to meet up at the entrance where you saw Natsuya waiting for you chatting with Finn’s friends.<br/><br/>“Where are you heading to?” Finn asked.<br/>“Towards the main square,” you said, pointing the direction of it. “That’s where our hostel is. And you?”<br/>“Well same direction,” he replied. “We can walk together so you guys won’t get lost.”<br/>“We can call a cab,” Natsuya remarked, stepping in the conversation. “I know it’s not that far but we could guarantee our safety and yours,” he continued.<br/>“Yeah you’re right, but cabs are rip off at that time,” Finn argued. “We know the city.”<br/>“Natsu, I need to sober up so I don’t mind walking,” you said, looking at him in the eye, implicitly telling him that Finn wasn’t making you uncomfortable — he seemed tensed. “Besides what if we are kidnapped?” you joked to reassure him.<br/>“Well having you throwing up in a cab isn’t the best option so let’s walk,” he said.<br/><br/>The group of friends tagged along with you and as you walked towards your hostel, you got to know them and tried to remember their names — with alcohol in your veins, you would have forgotten by tomorrow but you didn’t want so. You laughed loudly, still not sober and you were conscious of it and tried to keep it low — but the alcohol didn’t let you doing so.<br/><br/>You soon arrived at the hostel, thanked them for the short walk and went in your dorms. You were both worn out and hardly talked — only to tell each other that you were going to take a short shower before going to sleep.</p><p> </p><p><br/><br/>You were less drunk than when you left the club and you came to the realisation that during the whole night, you were in the arms of another man than the one you always imagined yourself being with, though you knew it was hopeless. You appreciated the feeling of his — Finn’s — body and you were surprised that after the first kiss, he didn’t go any further as embracing you while dancing. You were too shy to kiss him by yourself but if he did it again, you wouldn’t have minded. Coming to think of it, he didn’t ask for any of your social media. By the way he told you how attractive you were, you understood that he wanted a one night stand – you actually didn’t mind having an adventure but maybe you weren’t forward enough to implicitly tell him that you didn’t mind hooking up with him — preventing him to push the encounter further. You indeed loved Natsuya — but it was obvious he wasn’t feeling anything than friendship for you and it showed; you had to give up and maybe this was the perfect opportunity and you missed it. He had been respectful of you, you were thankful to not have stumbled on a douchebag. Though, you were a bit disappointed by yourself for not being smart enough to take the opportunity. The more you were with him, the more you realised that he wasn’t the one for you and especially with this journey, it was striking that your love was one-sided.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm hopelessly in love with him --</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p></p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>“I need time for myself,” he repeated as if the meaning was clear — it somehow was, it somehow wasn’t. “I mean, I wanna be alone,” he said. “Not your fault, don’t feel bad but I need a break.”</p>
</blockquote>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I need some time for myself,” Natsuya said as you sat to eat your breakfasts.<br/>
“What do you mean?” you asked.<br/>
<br/>
You were still hungover from the last night but you both had managed to wake up in time to get your stomach plenty.<br/>
<br/>
“I need time for myself,” he repeated as if the meaning was clear — it somehow was, it somehow wasn’t. “I mean, I wanna be alone,” he said. “Not your fault, don’t feel bad but I need a break.”<br/>
“What? Am I being annoying?”<br/>
“Not at all, it’s just me, I need to be alone. Sorry for disrupting the schedule.”<br/>
“That’s okay but is there anything wrong with me? Did I do something?”<br/>
“I swear it’s not you, [Name], you know, it’s great to move around together but I need to be alone and it’s nothing against you, I want you to understand that.”<br/>
“Well, if you say so...”<br/>
“Besides I’m doing a favour right?” he winked, breaking into a smile. He seemed cold since he had woken up but seeing his grin relieved you — he wasn’t angry or upset at you. “You were close to a guy last night, ask him out for a date?”<br/>
“I forgot to ask his social media,” you confessed, blushing.<em> He had seen you.</em><br/>
“You’re silly,” he teased. “He looked pretty good.”<br/>
“Yeah.”<br/>
<br/>
You finished your breakfast with a bittersweet taste in your mouth. The way he asked about Finn, he clearly wasn’t interested in you — he wanted you to find someone other than him and it upset you even more. He didn’t pay attention to you. You prepared your small backpack for the day and also took the day for yourself and enjoy the parts of the city you wished you stayed more to contemplate and to the places you wanted to go but couldn’t fit in your common schedule. At the end of the day, it was a pleasant and refreshing time but you kept on wondering what made him so cold in the morning. He had never been this distant with you, even when you fought for a trifle when you were younger. Even when you argued about your futures, he had never been coldly distant despite being in conflict with you. Besides, he wasn’t angry at you, he told you so and the least you could do was to believe him though you weren’t convinced. You definitely had done something wrong and he didn’t want to tell you. You thought it would be the matter of one day but it turned out to last for two more days. You had two more days left there, you wanted to have this sorted out before you started off the third week with him; you had another one to go after, it would be a waste if the atmosphere remained as tensed as now.<br/>
<br/>
It had been two days since you landed in the third country and he had scarcely been talking to you except when it was necessary — when he was going to the bathroom or when it came to transportation but other than that, he seemed to avoid you. For God’s sake, you were travelling together but you felt like you were solo travelling with a child. From what you know of him after years of spending time together, Natsuya had never been so distant nor avoidant — it upset you as you didn’t know what you did wrong; though he was insisting on the fact that it wasn’t your fault at all. If it weren’t your fault, he should be able to talk about what was making him so silent.<br/>
<br/>
After days of visiting scheduled places with him, you gave up on engaging the conversation and decided to take a day for yourself. You had spent almost half of the week barely being really together and you felt your trip had been a waste — you still had one more week but with the current state of events, you were on the verge of changing your flight's dates to the point that the fee different didn’t even scare you and your wallet.<br/>
<br/>
You woke up earlier than usual and sent him a text of your planning for the day — so he won’t worry about you and your whereabouts — he would see it as soon as he wakes up. You left the dorm for the day and prayed he wouldn’t get angry (you doubted but you never knew, especially now) and hopped in a bus to the city’s old town. You arrived after half an hour stuck in the traffic jam and spent the morning walking around and looking around small local shops without buying anything. You eventually thought about offering something to Natsuya but you rejected the idea, you could easily use the gift as an excuse to talk to him but what for? It was better to ask him directly. You could have taken this opportunity to forget a little bit of your quarrel (which wasn’t even one) and really enjoy the charms of the city.<br/>
<br/>
Your mind was full of him and though he upset you for the few past days, you couldn’t stop thinking about him — there wasn’t a second without thinking about him. When you were moving together, these thoughts were stopped as your eyes wouldn’t quit him but as soon as he disappeared from your sights, your head was exploding. It was dead obvious he wasn’t thinking of you the same way and although you kept yourself on repeating this, part of you still hoped for a <em>what if</em>. Still thinking about him, you spotted a restaurant that he might like — you immediately wrote down the name and pinned the address in your map app and almost texted him to absolutely eat there tomorrow, the second to last day in this country. You didn’t. You would directly ask him tonight and hopefully, you would create an opportunity to calmly sit with him and talk — though you had nothing to say. You were going to make him speak.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
You came back to the hostel and laid down on your bed waiting for his return. You texted him just to let him know them got lost in your social media feed to kill your time. You were so comfortable in your sheets and the dorm was silent — nobody has come back — and you could fall asleep at any time, which you eventually did.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
“Hey,” you heard, slowly waking up from your slumber.<br/>
<br/>
Natsuya had laid down next to you, waiting for you to wake up. You almost had a heart attack seeing him this close first thing you opened your eyes but you didn’t dislike it <em>at all</em>. It seemed like it was the first time in ages that he first talked to you. He still had this cold gaze with a slight frown on you but at least you could chat a little and break the ice.<br/>
<br/>
“Hi,” you replied, yawning. “What’s up?”<br/>
“Nothing,” he replied. “I just wanted to ask you for dinner.”<br/>
“What time is it?”<br/>
“8,” he said, taking a short look at his phone. “Are you hungry? I found a good place.”<br/>
“A little,” you said, stretching out. “Let me redo my makeup for a sec and we can go.”<br/>
“Okay.”<br/>
<br/>
You went to the bathroom with your makeup kit to check if your eyeliner and mascara didn’t leak while you were sleeping. You looked like a panda and your hair was so dishevelled that you looked like someone had dropped a bomb in your hair — a mess and too bad, not even a hot one. You didn’t remember when you fell asleep but you prayed that he hadn’t come back soon after and been by your side for all this time. As soon as you were done, Natsuya was waiting for you in the dorm, ready to go.<br/>
<br/>
“Sorry,” you said as you picked up your bag.<br/>
“It’s fine. Shall we?”<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
•<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
The restaurant he took you to was so insta worthy — you weren’t the type of person who updated everything of your life on social media but just seeing the decoration and the aesthetic made you want to do a whole shooting and become an influencer after eating — you regretted not wearing a cute outfit but maybe it was for the better as it would have been difficult to cover your food baby.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s beautiful,” you uttered, stunned by how the restaurant matched your decoration tastes; you could literally live there from now on.<br/>
“I’m glad you like it,” he said with a smile as a waiter came to assign you seats.<br/>
<br/>
He smiled. It had been ages since you hadn’t seen him breaking into a smile and you missed it — you had spent three years of your degree not seeing him most of the time and not missing him but you couldn’t help but be happy for a simple smile.<br/>
<br/>
Once you were seated, you skim-read at the menu while staring at the ceiling, admiring the architecture and studying the colours of the decoration matching with the walls and the furniture so perfectly. You were definitely taking mental notes to inspire you for your flat to rent once you were employed somewhere.<br/>
<br/>
“Are you done staring?”<br/>
<br/>
You looked at him, finishing browsing his menu. He had the ghost of a smile on his lips as if he had been looking at you for a while without saying anything — secretly mocking you in a good way.<br/>
<br/>
“Sorry, I just find the restaurant so pretty. What are you gonna take?”<br/>
“Their surprise dish,” he said with a hint of mystery. “I’m curious. And you?”<br/>
“Well...” you skim-read the menu again and quickly made your choice. Their most appreciated and recommended dish seemed delicious. “I’m ready to order.”<br/>
<br/>
He called for a waiter who came a few minutes to take your orders — and as soon as he left, there was a long and calm silence between you, staring at each other without thinking as if you were playing the game of who’s is going to break off the gaze the first. You were not going to lose it. He held the gaze without flinching which upset you and as soon as your heart realised the weird romantic tension in the air, you broke off the gaze. It wasn’t even romantic, your heart played with you and you knew it.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s embarrassing,” you said, looking away.<br/>
“You started,” he accused in an amused tone.<br/>
“You’re the one who continued,” you remarked.<br/>
<br/>
He chuckled, relaxing the atmosphere as if nothing special happened during the few past days as if hadn’t been ignoring you.<br/>
<br/>
“[Name], I’m sorry,” he said, looking at you in the eyes—seriously, without the intent to play. “I’ve been avoidant these times.”<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
“I know you won’t believe me when I say that it’s not your fault, but it really isn’t your fault.”<br/>
“Tell me,” you asked. You needed to know him even though you’ve known him for ages, this journey had made you see a part of him you’d never seen.<br/>
“Well, you know... I’ve been backpacking for quite a long time, swimming and moving around when I liked and when I wanted. I could make plans the day before and go or plan everything in advance and change it when I want to by myself. I really like travelling but travelling with you made me realise that maybe I can’t enjoy as much as when I’m alone. You know, I really love travelling and being with you but these are different things and at some point, I needed a break and do as I wanted, even for a day—“<br/>
“A day that lasted almost five days,” you joked.<br/>
“Yeah I know, I needed some time to reflect too,” he chuckled. “But yes, I love you, just to let you know that I had nothing against you. I’m sorry for making you feel bad.”<br/>
<br/>
He forgot to say <em>as a friend</em> after his <em>I love you</em> but the way he sounded made it clear — he loved you as a friend, as a person. It sounded effortless to say these three words it ached your heart.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re forgiven,” you said with a relieved smile. “Thank you for explaining. I understand now.”<br/>
<br/>
You were the one who was supposed to make him speak but actually, you didn’t really want to force him to tell you why he was distant — you could ask why but you would rather him coming to you and overtly explain himself.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m curious, what did you reflect on?” you asked.<br/>
“Pretty much everything.”<br/>
“Tell me, if you’re okay with that.”<br/>
“Well... at first on my future and what I was going to do after this trip... because you’re planning on applying for a job right?</p><p>“Yeah, that’s pretty much the plan,” you confirmed. “So… What are you planning on doing?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve got some teams that contacted me a while ago and I still haven’t replied to them, which is bad,” he chuckled. “They might have forgotten of me, but yeah... Being part of a team could be nice but you know, I still haven’t find the one I feel home. That’s why I travelled, trying to find a team with my vibe, you know.”<br/>
“You still miss swimming with Nao,” you remarked.</p><p> </p><p>Ever since Nao stopped swimming, you felt his loneliness when he was swimming, even though you knew he enjoyed it anyway — you kept on wondering when you’ll see them swimming together again and by the end of high school it felt like this day would never come. You were glad that he didn’t lose his passion but not seeing them together broke your heart, though they were still best friends in everyday life. It wasn’t as if they had quarrelled and parted ways as Nao stayed in the world of sports with his degree.</p><p><br/>
“I know right,” he sighed. “But well, future, these kinds of stuff,” he summed up.<br/>
“Speaking of Nao, it’s such a shame he couldn’t come with us.”<br/>
“True! Maybe next time.”<br/>
“Yes, definitely!”<br/>
<br/>
Your dishes came and <em>oh God</em>, they were just like the restaurant, aesthetically pleasing that you couldn’t help but take your phone for a picture after the waiter had left. You took a few from different angles — you were quite satisfied with them.<br/>
<br/>
“Would you like me to take a photo?” Natsuya asked, visibly waiting for you to finish the improvised photoshoot so he could start eating.<br/>
“What? You mean me with the food?”<br/>
“And the background,” he added. “I bet you’re dying to post it on your Instagram.”<br/>
“Touché,” you admitted, giving him your phone as you were dying to have a nice photo of you in this restaurant. “Don’t mess up.”<br/>
“I’ll try.”<br/>
<br/>
You quickly redid your hair and checked with a pocket mirror your makeup before facing the camera with an awkward smile — you weren’t used to be in front of it and it was the first time Natsuya proposed to take a picture for you. You did some selfies sometimes but you were in control of your image and you could take as many photos as you wanted.<br/>
<br/>
“Your smile is weird,” he remarked with a mocking tone. “Be natural, come on!”<br/>
“How?”<br/>
“Just smile!”<br/>
“I’m smiling!”<br/>
“It’s weird.”<br/>
“Come on!! Take the photo already!”<br/>
“Not until you smile,” he insisted. “You’re actually beautiful, it’s a shame that your cringy smile wastes everything”<br/>
“What?” you said, surprised by his compliment. He called you <em>beautiful</em>. He. called. You. Beautiful. “Do you mean it?” you asked, unable to hide a grin.<br/>
“What? Yes, you’re pretty photogenic you know,” he said as he gave back your phone. “I took quite a lot of photos so you can choose the one to post it on your insta.”<br/>
<br/>
You took a quick glance at the photos and indeed he had taken a lot so you could choose the best one— they were surprisingly good and you didn’t look as awkward and ugly as you thought you would look.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re actually good,” you commented. “Do I really look like that?” you chuckled.<br/>
“Yes you do,” he replied. “Let’s eat, it’s gonna be cold.”<br/>
“Yes. Thank you for the pics,” you said with a shy smile.<br/>
“My pleasure.”<br/>
<br/>
You started eating in silence — the food was too delicious that you couldn’t say anything, not even a compliment because you were saving it for later. The best for last. Neither Natsuya did say anything, too concentrated in savouring his dish. You discreetly shot him a few glances, seeing him enjoying his food as much as you.<br/>
<br/>
As soon as you were finished, you started discussing the programme for the next week and considered making a few changes since you both wanted some freedom in your schedule. Though it frustrated to not be able to spend the whole journey with him and move around with him to not get lost alone, you agreed on making some compromises.<br/>
<br/>
“You can tell me if you don’t want to,” he said while you were making plans.<br/>
“And have your grumpy mood all day? No thanks,” you remarked sarcastically. “It’s fine, really. It’s not as if we couldn’t stand each other anymore.”<br/>
“You’re right but— it's still a trip that we planned together and I know you want us to spend time together...”<br/>
“Natsu, I’m not a child, it’s fine, we can make compromises, it’s not the end of the world, okay?”<br/>
“You’re too kind [Name],” he said with an apologetic smile. “Thank you.”<br/>
“You’re welcome.”<br/>
“Do you want a dessert?”<br/>
“No,” you replied, trying to constrain the desire to actually get one. Not that you were on a diet, you wanted to be a little healthier because you ate snacks between lunch since the beginning of the trip.<br/>
“You sure? I’m gonna take one,” he said in a tone that convinced you to take one.<br/>
“Okay, I’m gonna get something,” you sighed, giving up.<br/>
<br/>
Once you were done with your meal, the waiter came to collect your dishes and asked if you wanted the dessert menu — both of you nodded and you skim-read it before deciding; you debated whether you’d take the same one as you had similar tastes in sweets or whether you’d take a different dessert to taste the other’s.<br/>
<br/>
“Actually, wanna me to choose for you? Instead of taking the same cake.”<br/>
“Sounds good, let’s do that!”<br/>
<br/>
You read the menu carefully this time, looking for a sweet that he might actually like: you knew his tastes, you had an idea of what he would take right away by instinct but you wanted to surprise him with an unexpected piece. You smiled as you were decided and waited for the waited to come.<br/>
<br/>
“What’s that smile?” he asked curiously.<br/>
“I chose your dessert and I can’t wait for your reaction,” you said genuinely.<br/>
“I’m looking forward to then,” he replied with a smile.<br/>
<br/>
The waiter came, took your orders and the menu and once again, you were staring at each other or more accurately you stared at Natsuya for too long that he noticed.<br/>
<br/>
“Do I have something on my face?”<br/>
“Nah, don’t worry.”<br/>
<br/>
If he had, you would just have kept quiet and laugh later on. You couldn’t help but gaze at him, it was like second nature and you hated the bittersweet feeling of it. It reminded you each time that your love for him was one-sided. You had to stop this habit eventually otherwise your heart wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore.<br/>
<br/>
Nevertheless, he checked with the front camera of his phone.<br/>
<br/>
“Thank you for not trusting me,” you sarcastically said.<br/>
“I do but we never know,” he replied with a wink before he put his phone on the table.<br/>
<br/>
Your desserts came shortly after and you were glad that his order for you came first as you had forgotten the name of his dessert.<br/>
It was small and cute with decorations and fruits around the cake and you couldn’t help but think that this dessert was made for you. It looked so much like something you would like to take a photo. Speaking of photos, you grabbed your phone to take a quick picture.<br/>
<br/>
“I knew that you would love it,” he said with a smile. “It looks like you.”<br/>
“What do you mean?”<br/>
“I don’t know, I just thought of you when I saw the picture of it.”<br/>
“Elaborate!” you begged with a smile, taking a bite of your dessert.<br/>
“I have nothing more to say!” he retorted with a laugh. “I can’t explain!”<br/>
<br/>
You gave up questioning him, busy eating your dessert — again, a peaceful silent set up between you two, showing how delicious it was. You ended up not sharing the second to last bite as you both finished too quickly for the proposition to be done. Once you were done splitting the bill, you left the restaurant, taking one last photo of the entrance before heading to your hostel.<br/>
<br/>
“Thank you for taking me there,” you said as you walked.<br/>
“You’re welcome. I’m glad that you liked it.” You couldn’t help but grin.<br/>
“I also found a restaurant you might like, would you like to go there tomorrow’s evening?”<br/>
“Yes, sure!”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
•</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
As planned, you went to the restaurant you talked about with him. The day started so well you suspected yourself that you must be dreaming— you woke up at the same time and went for breakfast before leaving the hostel to explore the city one last time but together. It was as if you were visiting it for the first time, discovering other streets, buildings and atmospheres that you had already seen — you just spent more time in these places and enjoyed a bit more than when you were by yourself, though you still enjoyed exploring alone. It was different for sure. The more you were with him, the more you were helplessly falling for him over and over again — you sometimes wondered about confessing; but you already knew the outcome which held you back from doing so.<br/>
<br/>
You sighed as you packed your luggage for the flight the next morning. You had bought so many books, a few pieces of clothing and souvenirs and you thought they would all fit in in your backpack but it turned out that it was too much for your backpack, making you buy a medium-sized suitcase, frustrating you. Natsuya was already done and was in the shower — he told you he would help but it had already been thirty minutes since he had been in the shower. He never stayed this long, maybe he hoped you would be done by the time he would come back so he wouldn’t have to help. It was a good strategy indeed. Actually, by the time you thought so, you somehow managed to be able to close your suitcase, your backpack and sort out the stuff of your hand luggage.<br/>
<br/>
You took your toiletries and rushed in the girl’s shower room before you got to sleep, worn-out. These few past days had completely drained you and you doubted yourself you could handle another week like this one. When you back from your shower, you collapsed on your bed and closed your eyes after setting an alarm for the next morning.<br/>
<br/>
“Goodnight,” your heard Natsuya from the top bunk.<br/>
“Night.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I remember that one time I went to London with my friends, it was last year and it was where I realised that I wasn't a person who can tag along with people all the time - not because of them, but because I need time for myself. I have a very low social battery as I'm an introvert so travelling with friends is like a nightmare for me; I was just 18 at the time and my parents didn't want me to go abroad by myself, especially London. I understood and proposed two of my friends to go there and they accepted. We got along, but we had a little bit of drama at some point and I couldn't stand all of it and neither could they. Eventually, we apologised and things got back but, yeah, I realised that I could never unless I meet my soulmate.</p><p>Travelling with friends is definitely something a bit romanticised, I think - loads of fun and good memories but I think we forget that sometimes, it can be a pain in the ass to stick with them; we don't have the freedom to do what we want, when we want. I may be very selfish writing that, not saying that there are bad sides in travelling with friends, we can get to know better and have some fun - because you get to know them better, things can take a different turn; it's not just hanging out, it's <i>living</i> with them and no matter how I get on well with these friends I just couldn't stand living with them (though it was for a very short time, not even a week). It's just me not being mentally available to stick with them and needing space and freedom; we were together all the time obvs, from visiting museums to shopping, to eating...</p><p>Well, sorry for the rant, just needed to share some personal experience related to travelling because I just miss travelling right now, I was supposed to take some holidays during the Easter break but turns out I'm stuck home ahah. Writing helps at least.</p><p>Nonetheless, I do recommend travelling with friends, it's certain that it makes things easier and safer but do have in mind that it's not all sugar-coated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. [4]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You woke up sooner than planned and took some time to stretch your body. You were sore from all the walking and a lack of sleep on a hard mattress for days. It hurt, but it was the pain that made you feel a bit lighter and took you off from your slumber.<br/><br/>“[Name]? You awake?” Natsuya’s voice muttered, still sleeping.<br/>“Yes,” you whispered, climbing to his bunk to squeeze him a little bit. “It’s soon time to wake up,” you said as you patted his shoulder.<br/>“I know, I know,” he mumbled. “Let me sleep a bit more.”<br/><br/>His low sleepy voice melted you. You sure had to wake him up sometimes when you were children but it was way different from this time. He used to ignore you when you tried to wake him — he would just take his pillow and cover his ears with while turning his back to you. He would never wake up unless you ignored him for a while and went back to sleep yourself.<br/><br/>“No, you can’t sleep more otherwise we will miss our flight,” you sighed as you squeezed him more vigorously.<br/>“Trust me, we won’t,” he chuckled.<br/><br/><br/>You sighed, got off of the bunk and took youth clothes to get dressed in the bathroom, where you put on a moisturiser on your face as well as a light makeup. You were taking the plane but you weren’t spending the whole day in it so you could allow yourself to be pretty — you strangely took this habit this week when you travelled alone. You returned in your dorm and Natsuya was yawning and stretching in his bed, still half-asleep.<br/><br/>“Morning,” you said as you put away your toiletries and folded your pyjamas.<br/>“Morning,” he replied as he got off the top bunk to take his toiletries. “Don’t wait for me for breakfast.”<br/>“Okay, I’ll go now, see ya,” you said as you left the dorm.<br/>“See ya.”<br/><br/><br/><br/>Once you were both done with your breakfast, you headed to the airport and hopped in the flight — it all went smoothly as your papers and pieces of luggage were in order and you hardly saw the time passing. You took a nap during the journey and you woke up smoothly though you were still tired; you had a long day and you had to survive until your dorm was available to check-in, usually around noon. You were allowed to leave your luggage in their storage room and you were ready to explore the last city you were in. Natsuya entered the information of the first touristy place you planned to visit on his map app and he simply led you there. You missed how easy and stress-free it was to visit the city with him as he had a good sense of direction. As you walked and visited the main world’s heritage places, you talked about the researches you had done about the place — you knew he always did some quick research before visiting a city so he could talk about it to you and ever since, you decided to do the same. He seemed to know everything about everywhere and his knowledge had made you envious — the way he talked about history, people and key dates were almost attractive and you could listen to him for the whole day, not only because he was enticing, but because the topic was genuinely interesting and made you curious and want to buy books about every subject he introduced you.<br/><br/>And you did again end up buying dozens of books that you knew you would struggle fitting them in your suitcase — thankfully you had some space but books were heavy and you knew you would certainly have to pay for extra weight for your hold luggage. You had done it in your previous flights and now as you checked your bank account, you realised that you didn’t have much to live for the week. Money wasn’t supposed to be one of your issues as you had thoroughly planned your budget before leaving three weeks ago. You even had taken into account extra spendings but it seemed that you didn’t anticipate enough given your bank account worrying figures.<br/><br/>You sighed as you skim-read the menu of the restaurant you had chosen for lunch. It wasn’t especially expensive; in fact, it was average and if you had been in this restaurant in the first week, you wouldn’t have minded the price of a dish. Now, you were carefully considering how much you would spend day by day until the end and it gave you headaches — you were thinking too much while all you wanted was to enjoy the most of your trip.<br/><br/>“You alright?” he asked as you sighed again.<br/>“Huh?”<br/>“You okay?” he asked again, concerned.<br/>“Huh, yes,” you said, looking for the cheapest meal of the menu. It was a salad. Not that you disliked salad but you knew it wouldn’t fill your stomach for the day.<br/>“Tell me if you have a problem, okay?”<br/><br/>You wondered whether you could tell Natsuya that you had issues with your money. You didn’t want him to buy you things, even meals, as it was your responsibility — and you had partly failed at it. It was <em>your </em>responsibility to manage your finances and although you could simply transfer some funds from your saving account, you preferred saving them to move out of your parents’ house after you got a job somewhere in the country. You only needed a small, tiny portion from it but it was still the money you saved up since you started university for the sole purpose of getting a flat and furnish it to your tastes. You would try to survive this week with your remaining budget and then, you will think about transferring some money.<br/><br/>Soon after you finished your lunch, you walked around in the touristic neighbourhood of the city centre, again admiring the architecture, enjoying the exotic smell of street foods (that you couldn’t afford of course), the local market and their traditional key chains supposed to bring you luck. You hesitated about buying one of them but you remembered that 1) you will certainly regret it later to not have saved it for your lunch and 2) they might be a tourist trap and probably overpriced. Instead, you just wanted some food from one of the stands but again, you worried about your finances.<br/><br/>“[Name]? You okay?” Natsuya called you out.<br/>“What?”<br/>“You look pale, do you feel sick?”<br/>“Huh?” you blurted out, unable to process why he was asking this question.<br/>“[Name], you okay?” he repeated, tapping your cheeks.<br/>“Huh, yes, just spacing out,” you said as you blushed at the sudden closeness of his face from yours, stepping back by reflex.<br/>“Wanna eat something?”<br/>“No, it’s fine.”<br/>“Sure?”<br/>“Sure,” you faintly smiled.<br/>“We can go to the hostel now if you’re tired,” he proposed. “Don’t feel bad for me okay?”<br/>“But Natsu...”<br/>“It’s fine! Let’s go back, I’m actually super exhausted too. We can order takeaway for tonight.”<br/><br/>You nodded, lacking the energy to articulate a reply. This exhaust wasn’t only due to your empty stomach, your sore muscles and your low quality of sleep during this past few weeks. Moreover, you knew it, you felt it, your periods were about to come and you genuinely needed to lay down and get some rest — though you really wanted to see more of the city.<br/><br/>As you entered the dorm, you quickly put away your essentials and rushed to the shower rooms as you desperately needed a burning shower — turns out that it was freezing and there was no way to change the temperature; you technically could but it simply didn’t work. As there was nobody in the cubicles next to yours, you went into every single of them but it seemed that hot water wasn’t available there, though you had double-checked before booking that indeed hot water was included. You sighed, bear with the cold spurt to clean yourself. Before going back to your dorm, you reported your issue to the reception and they said that it had been an issue since this morning and that it should be fixed before tomorrow morning. You sighed and went back to your dorm.<br/><br/>“You okay?” Natsuya asked after you collapsed on your bed.<br/>“Kind of,” you mumbled. “The showers are cold as fuck,” you whined as you curled up under the bedsheet.<br/>“What? You sure it wasn’t only your shower?”<br/>“Natsu, I tried all of them and the reception said that they were broken,” you sighed, lazily summarising.<br/>“Oh okay, you sure you’re gonna be alright?” he asked as he sat in your bed.<br/>“I’m fine, just a little tired,” you said, trying to not explain yourself too much.<br/><br/>He put his hand on your forehead to check if you had a fever — you didn’t.<br/><br/>“Come on, I’m fine...” you insisted, removing his hand from your forehead, turning your back to him.<br/>“You don’t look so,” he sighed. “What do you wanna eat?”<br/>“I’m not hungry,” you lied, exasperated that he didn’t let you alone.<br/>“You only ate a salad today, don’t make me believe otherwise,” he firmly said.<br/>“I’m saying that I’m fine, leave me alone,” you sighed, unable to gather your energy to argue.<br/>“Well then,” he let an exasperated sigh. “I’m gonna go out to grab something, text me if you need anything.”<br/>“Okay, okay, have fun.”<br/><br/>Soon after he left, you fell into a dreamless sleep.<br/><br/><br/>You woke up in the middle of the night, your body painfully aching at every part — you wanted to go back to sleep but your body wouldn’t allow it. Silently, you reached for your painkillers in your bag and checked the time on your phone. Three in the morning and you had one text message from Natsuya.<br/><br/><em>Look in your locker.</em><br/><br/>You opened your locker and found a sandwich, a bottle of water and three chocolate bars. You smiled as you texted back your thanks and silently ate them — he was too kind to you, you almost had tears in the corners of your eyes.<br/><br/><em>How much was it? </em>you texted to pay him back in the morning. You knew it hurt a little bit your wallet but you had to refund him as you both promised that you would buy your own food by yourselves. After finishing, you swallowed your painkillers.<br/><br/><em>My treat. Don’t worry.</em><br/><br/>You looked up his bunk — he was awake.<br/><br/>“Hi,” you whispered at him as you climbed to his bed.<br/>“Yo.”<br/>“Thank you so much. How much was it?”<br/>“[Name], it’s my treat, told you. How do you feel?”<br/>“Slightly better,” you admitted. “Still hurts—“ you immediately stop, afraid of revealing too much.<br/>“Where?”<br/>“Never mind,” you said, going back to your bed. “Night.”<br/>“[Name], tell me what’s wrong.”<br/>“It will be better tomorrow, don’t worry,” you said as you laid on your bed, wrapping yourself in your duvet. “Night.”<br/><br/>You heard him sigh before you drifted into a deep sleep again. You felt bad for not telling him the truth but knowing him, you knew he would pay extra attention to you that you partly enjoyed but partly exasperated you as you were quite moody, unpredictable and easily annoyed for a nothing.<br/><br/><br/></p><p><br/>•<br/><br/></p><p><br/><br/>You were feeling much better than the previous hours but your body was still sore — you needed to take painkillers to survive for the day and you knew it would be a long one. You went for a quick, freezing shower once again and quickly got ready for breakfast while Natsuya was taking his morning shower.<br/><br/>“You know what? I think it’s been fixed, there’s hot water in the males’ bathroom,” he said as he came back, his hair still damp.<br/>“Mine was still cold this morning, though they said it will be fixed,” you whined. “I think it’s only the female bathroom. I hope it will be fixed by tonight,” you said as you took your phone to go to the reception to complain again before going to eat your breakfast.<br/><br/>As soon as you were finished, you took your painkillers and visited all the places you had written down on your schedule. Though you felt easily exhausted and hardly concentrated during museums visits, you could keep up with the fast-paced schedule for the first day. You eventually felt dizzy and numb in the middle of the day but you took another shot of painkillers and you were vigorous again — you eventually survived until dinner and were able to order some substantial food which was not out of up price range to fill your stomach. Natsuya, on the other hand, allowed himself to choose something a little bit pricier than usual as it was the last country and he had saved up a little more for this trip and spent less on clothing, books and souvenirs than you. His attitude was way different than a week ago — he was almost clingy which was so out of his character. It slightly annoyed you to do the visits and shopping together, though it was what you’d been doing for three weeks.<br/><br/>You took another shower — still icy — and went back to your dorm to wear a sweatshirt for the night and wrap yourself in the duvet to not feel cold. Your body pain has decreased, making you sleep a little more comfortably than the last night. However, the pain wasn’t the main problem now as you sneezed every minute since you left the bathroom.<br/><br/>“Take this,” Natsuya tossed you the sweatshirt he was wearing at the moment.<br/>“I’m good,” you said, tossing it back to him.<br/>“You’re gonna catch a cold, just wear it.”<br/>“And you?”<br/>“I haven’t had a cold shower unlike you, so it’s fine,” he said as he came to you to make you wear his sweatshirt. It was oversized for your fit, even more oversized than the oversized sweatshirt that you were wearing under.<br/>“Smells like you,” you muttered without thinking.<br/>“Well, sorry if I smell bad,” he said as he tucked your sleeves.<br/>“That’s not what I meant,” you replied with a blushed as you didn’t want any misinterpretation from him.<br/>“Does it mean that I smell good?” he teased with a grin.<br/>“That’s not what I meant either,” you repeated, avoiding his gaze.<br/>“If you really don’t want this sweatshirt I can give you another one,” he proposed.<br/>“It’s too late now. And it doesn’t smell that bad,” you admitted. “Thank you, Natsu.”<br/>“No worries,” he said as he patted your head. “Goodnight.”<br/>“Night.”<br/><br/>He had never patted your head before, his gesture was so brotherly yet so intimate that you didn’t know what to think about — he never touched you before, besides grabbing your wrists to force you to go outside or a hand in your back to push you; even in the club you went two weeks ago, he didn’t put his hands on your waist nor on your shoulders to dance, despite the crowd pushing around. You stopped overthinking — after all, a pat on the head didn’t have a significant meaning, nor a meaning at all.<br/><br/><br/>You felt slightly better by the next days, forgetting your period cramps, being in a better mood day by day — however, by the time your periods were gone, it was the second to last full day in the country. Overall, you had spent a good week, except for the nights where you were freezing after your shower. Natsuya eventually suggested you to sneak in the males’ bathroom to take a hot shower but you refused the idea in fear of accidentally stumbling on someone, though he said he would escort you and explain the situation if needed. Still, you refused, too embarrassed of the idea, it was only a cold shower and it wasn’t as if you would live there forever. It was only a matter of a few days.</p><p> </p><p>You ended up worrying less about your money as you realised that you had enough to finish the week without being completely penniless, though you had to do some compromises, like giving up on a book for a full course meal because you were starving and craving for the sweet dessert of the menu. In the end, you didn’t really regret the book as you could order it online. As you’d been from highly irritable to the most lovable person in the space of a few hours in the same day, Natsuya had taken a day off of you and explored the city by himself, which partly annoyed you, because it was your trip, together but on the other hand, you tried to be understanding, as he had told you a week before, that he needed time for himself and it was for this reason that he spent a day alone, and not because he was fed up of your changing mood. To make up for it, though you still didn’t know whether he was being distant because of you, you still suspected yourself to be the reason, you invited him for dinner in a chill, relaxed local restaurant you had found on a traveller blog. While walking to the restaurant, you both sum up your days, showed photos of the places you had been and planned the last full day to be more relaxed and hassle-free — you would just walk again around the city and enjoy street food. You arrived at the restaurant, were sat at a table rather far from the other customers and were given the menu. It wasn’t the peak time yet so the service was rather fast and waiters had the time to explain in details the dishes. Once your orders were taken, you once again, gaze at each other without saying a word, as if you were playing a game.<br/><br/>“Sorry for being an ass this week,” you said, breaking off the stare — you felt yourself blushing.<br/><br/>His lips curled into an amused yet somehow apologetic smile.<br/><br/>“Why were you so mad at small things? It’s not your type,” he remarked. “I understand that you’re mad at the hostel’s shower, though.”<br/>“Well, I know this doesn’t count as an excuse but I had my periods and... you know,” you said, a little embarrassed.<br/>“I wish you’d tell me this at the beginning of the week.”<br/>“It’s kinda gross—“<br/>“It’s not,” he cut you off. “It’s a natural thing, right? It happens,” he simply said. “Just tell me when you have them, okay?”<br/>“Why would I? I don’t think that’s useful for you.”<br/>“Well... I didn’t know that you could be that moody. I legitimately thought I had done something wrong to you to react that way — and I got scared, to be honest.”<br/>“I’m sorry Natsu, but you’ve done nothing wrong if that reassures you,” you said. “Thank you for all the sandwich treats and your sweatshirt by the way.”<br/>“You’re welcome.”<br/><br/>Your conversation was interrupted by the dishes arriving—as always, you took a quick photo before starting. Natsuya had gotten used to this habit of yours and even took photos himself. He wouldn’t post them anywhere although you encouraged him to do so as his photography skills were pretty good.<br/><br/>“You know [Name], I’m glad that we had this trip together,” he suddenly declared.<br/>“Me too,” you replied between two mouthfuls. “I had a great time with you.”<br/>“We had disagreements and stuff but I’m glad it was with you.”<br/>“You mean, the disagreements?” you asked with a funny smile.<br/>“Yes? I got to know you better,” he said with a grin.<br/>“So did I. It wasn’t that bad. Also, thank you for bearing with me.”<br/>“That’s my line,” he retorted with a laugh.<br/>“No seriously, I feel like I’ve ruined the end of our trip.”<br/>“So did I ruin it last week — sorry.”<br/>“Stop apologising, it’s all in the past.”<br/>“True! It’s part of the trip now.”<br/><br/>His beautiful smile, his earnest eyes looking at you while he was summing up the journey. You were on the verge of saying the three words that were stuck in your throat for years. You yearned to tell him day after day during this trip, for no reason whatsoever because there was no other way to express your feeling to him — you were glad to have travelled with him as a friend, of course, but you knew deep down in you that this feeling wasn’t as honest as you wanted; you enjoyed it because you had him all for yourself only and you despised this feeling. He wasn’t yours and he would never be, even if your feelings were returned — you loved his freedom, his ability to make his dream a reality, the way he was master of his choices... and you were flattered to have the privilege to have been a part of this journey with him.<br/><br/>You kept your words for yourself — preferring the calm and friendly mood of the conversation rather than a possible painful rejection.<br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One month travelling means at least a few days suffering because duh, female body. And because travelling can't be always fun, guess what, freezing shower. Sorry, I've been mean to Reader for this chapter... *forgive me*.</p><p>The other day (two months ago), I was browsing Hostelworld to find out about hostels (yeah I was thinking about travelling, *again*) and found out that some hostels offered hot shower - that kinda surprised me as I thought that it was obvious. This fact aside, I once went to a hostel where the shower spurt was just... ??? too strong that the shower curtains were flying and sticking to your body when you showered, it was hilarious but kinda... annoying? I fortunately never experience the freezing shower but as a person who almost burn myself, it would be a total nightmare...</p><p>I hesitated whether I'd talk about periods because umm I guess it's still somehow taboo or you know, the subject you don't want to open up because it's "disgusting" but hey, that's a natural thing and we should talk more about it (okay I sound very cheesy but that's a thing) and more open about its pain because some people suffer a LOT (more than I thought because I'm quite okay) and it makes them just unable to move/do sth and that's just super painful - thought I can't fully relate the actual pain of some girls - we all different. Anyway, I want to talk about it in some way. </p><p>Anyway, hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. [5]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The longest part of the fic, but hahahah, the funniest omg I enjoyed myself soo much hope you'll enjoy - full of fanfiction clichés trope ahah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>The next and last morning in the country was more relaxed than the others. You spent more time in bed, almost missing your breakfast — Natsuya overslept more than usual; you couldn’t believe it as in the first two weeks, he was the one to wake you up.<br/><br/>“Wake up,” you murmured as you shook his shoulder. “It’s our last day.”<br/>“I know,” he whined as he yawned, starting to stretch. “You seem to like it,” he muttered, playing with the sleeve of his sweatshirt you were wearing.<br/>“It really keeps me warm,” you said with a smile — you indeed liked it, there was no way you could deny it. You shook him again. “Now, wake up!”<br/>“You can have it if you want.”<br/>“It’s not the time to talk about that, wake up!”<br/><br/>He eventually got up after you insisted quite a while and got dressed quickly to grab it. You roughly started packing for tomorrow’s flight while he was changing and folded his sweatshirt; you couldn’t keep it forever even if you really liked how comfortable and warm you were in.<br/><br/>“You can keep it until the end of the trip,” he said as he came back from the bathroom, seeing you put his sweatshirt on his bag.<br/>“Are you saying this because you don’t have enough space in your backpack?” you joked.<br/>“Partly— but you’re gonna freeze tonight if the shower is still cold.”<br/>“I guess I’m fine and I’ve gotten used to somehow.”<br/>“Well, either way, just keep it.”<br/>“Thanks,” you said with a shy smile, secretly enjoying that he let you his sweatshirt a little longer — with his scent on it.<br/><br/>You spent the rest of the day together, taking photos in souvenirs shops, walking around the city and in the main square one last time, eating different street food from the day before and summing up your trip from the very beginning when you had talked about it years ago to now when you were walking back to your hostel after your last dinner here.</p><p> </p><p>You finished packing before going to sleep — you weren’t brave enough to finish in the next morning, though you had time for your flight back home which was in the evening, you had to wake up early to be on time in the airport and go through customs, and be eventually prepared for delays and issues.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You arrived in the airport three hours before your flight took off, checked your flight number on the departures display panel of the lobby and went through the security and borders checks in advance to avoid the queue – it had already started queuing for a while because of others flights but the sooner you were done, the longer you could wander in the duty-free zone.</p><p> </p><p>You were done first and checked your flight and the gate number, did it several times before realising that it had been cancelled in the meantime. As soon as Natsuya was done with his checks, you told him the information to make sure that you weren’t hallucinating.</p><p><br/>“Oh shit,” he blurted as he looked up.<br/>“What are we gonna do?”<br/><br/>You had checked-in your luggage so it would be a mess to retrieve them for the night – they might get lost in the relocating process so the least you could do was to ask the company if they could transfer your luggage to your return flight. It was the first time you ever got a flight cancelled and the only thing you could think of was to speak to a company’s representative and ask for refunds and a place to stay for the night but it certainly would never be without your personal financial participation. Eventually, you would check for more compensations with your credit card provider and your travel insurance.<br/><br/>“Well, first let’s queue for customer service desk,” he said, looking for directions. “In the meantime, I’ll check with our travel insurance and call them and you, check if the airline company updates anything about our flight.”<br/><br/>He was calm, so calm even under such unplanned circumstances that you were speechless. You knew in theory what to do in this case but doing it in practice was so much more stressful and rushed. You started looking at the airline’s website while you started queuing—the desk was unsurprisingly crowded and it would take at least half an hour to get some help. A technical issue was the reason combined with bad weather in the destination country. The update was recent and there was still not any transfer flights available — as you walked to the customer service counter, you kept on updating Natsuya on your findings while he was waiting for the travel insurance company to respond. Thankfully, they replied very quickly and you were eligible for the financial compensation which was higher than the actual price of your return flight.</p><p><br/>In the meantime, the airline’s website refreshed and proposed you a voucher for overnight accommodation at a nearby hotel — actually one of the closest of the airport and one of the fanciest. Then, you would take a flight the next day in the evening.<br/><br/>“Natsu, got a deal,” you said, showing your phone screen. “We can stay at this hotel for the night and tomorrow we take the flight we were supposed to take now, same time, same company.”<br/>“Cool. Wanna get a confirmation from the desk?” he asked as you were the ones to pass when the current customer would leave. “Thank you for searching.”</p><p>“It’s normal,” you replied as the customer in front of you left the desk.<br/><br/>It didn’t take long and you got a confirmation and headed to the hotel with a printed copy of the voucher and the details of your flight tomorrow. It went surprisingly smoothly and quickly though it had actually taken one hour and a half between the time when you knew that your flight was cancelled and the time you got everything sorted – your luggage was safely transferred onto your flight tomorrow. <br/><br/>You quickly fetched some overpriced sandwiches and snacks as you were too lazy to eat in the hotel’s restaurant (plus, your voucher probably didn’t allow you to eat for free) before taking a shuttle bus to get to the hotel and <em>oh God</em>, it was way too fancy for your backpacks and dirty trainers. Nevertheless, no one would say no to a free night in a five-star hotel — though you knew that you would not enjoy the full services of it, such as the outdoor pool or the sauna. You would if you could, but you were too exhausted and wanted a good night of sleep; besides you didn’t have enough time to relax tomorrow.<br/><br/>Natsuya took in charge of confirming the voucher and talking to the receptionist while a steward took all your heavy backpacks to bring them to your room. It was way too fancy for the freshly graduated student you were and you felt awkward — when you were younger, you dreamed that your everyday life would be travelling around the world staying at these kinds of hotels; now you were really staying there, even for one night, it was more daunting than pleasing. Everybody was older than more sophisticated than you, not only in their clothing but also in their manners and language. Natsuya received the keys and you were both escorted to your room — on the highest floors, where you could have a nice view of the airport and the planes taking off and landing. Many people wouldn’t want to have this view but you somehow liked and excited you, making you even more eager to book a trip soon after you got back home. When you arrived, your luggage was already there, next to the bed. Not next to <em>your</em> bed, next to <em>the</em> bed. You almost choked and tried to keep a straight face in front of him; it must have been the only room available as you remembered hearing Natsuya asking for two single beds to the receptionist.<br/><br/>“If that bothers you, I can sleep on the sofa,” he said, noticing your embarrassment.<br/>“That’s okay, it’s been a while since we haven’t slept together,” you said in a neutral tone of voice... before you regretted your words, sounding way too sexual when you only meant that when you were children, you used to sleep over his house or he in yours — you implied nothing else, nothing else than your childhood.<br/>“‘Kay, mind if I take a shower first?” he asked, ruffling his hair.<br/>“No, go ahead.”<br/><br/>You had spent one month travelling and with him but it was the first time that this question was asked. You were staying in youth hostels and all facilities were shared, you could go whenever you wanted – there wasn’t a first or second to go to the showers room. <br/><br/>Besides, you needed some time alone to sort out your feelings and be as natural as possible. Being alone with him in a hotel room with only one bed was way too much for your poor heart, you couldn’t help but imagine what could possibly happen in one night with him only. Nothing. Absolutely nothing would happen.<br/><br/>You got changed into your usual pyjama — an oversized t-shirt and a short as always and maybe you should’ve had a more conservative pyjama just in case, like sweatpants but you were so used to shorts that you didn’t even own one as a pyjama. And it was only a pair of shorts, it wasn’t as you were only wearing your underwear.<br/>And he was your childhood friend.<br/>Waiting for him to vacate the bathroom, you checked your social media and caught up your favourites video makers’ videos while eating your sandwich and snacks.<br/><br/>“The shower is so good,” he said as he came out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel.<br/><br/><em>... and he looked so damn good</em> with his dishevelled hair and a white sweatshirt matching with grey sweatpants. Though it wasn’t the first time you were seeing him after the shower. It has been one month but it was the first it made your heart skip a beat.<br/><br/>“That’s good to hear,” you said as you finished eating and got up to take your toiletries. “I haven’t had a decent shower for quite a while,” you remarked, remembering the last hostel with the coldest shower with the worst water flow.<br/>“You’re right, this shower was heaven. Careful though, it gets hot really quick.”<br/>“Thanks.”<br/><br/>You jumped in the cubicle, which was the largest one you had ever been in your life. It could easily fit two people in and still have hot water for both of them. <em>Save water, shower together.</em> You blushed at the thought, your heart helplessly fluttering again. Trying to get rid of your inappropriate thoughts, you focused on washing your hair and indeed the shower was so good that you forgot all the mess in your feelings and took your time taking care of your body, applying all the bath skincare routine that you had forgotten during the past weeks. You were lucky that your skin still looked healthy and well maintained. You left the shower with regrets even though you were done. If you stayed longer you would have died of heatstroke and it certainly wasn’t what you wanted, though figuratively you were dying from it since you saw him after his shower, looking so damn good it should be illegal. You dried your hair and got out of the bathroom, glancing back at the shower as if you were saying farewell.</p><p><br/>“Legit the best shower of my life,” you said, sitting on your chosen side of the bed, pulling the duvet to you.<br/>“I know right!” he exclaimed, putting away the book he was reading on the bedside table. “Shall we?” he asked before turning off the lights.<br/>“Yes.”<br/><br/>You got slightly closer to him soon after he switched them off — <em>old habits die hard</em>, it reminded you of your childhood and the sleepless nights spent dreaming.<br/><br/>“What did you like the most in this trip?” he asked, getting closer as well, almost to the point where you had to resist to not pull him closer.<br/>“Well... Pretty much everything,” you said, trying to recall what you enjoyed the most — wandering in the city centre after you’ve done the visiting programme of the day, the local restaurants, your days alone in the city… You couldn’t really choose <em>one.</em> “And you?”<br/>“Same. It’s hard to narrow it down at one, but I really liked visiting museums in general.”<br/><br/>Both of you ended up summarising the trip from the very beginning to now, remembering every small detail as you talked and even planning the next trip you would have together. You have had issues with papers, flights, money and disagreements between you but they somehow made your journey unique and unforgettable; besides the next time you would travel together, you would be more careful and avoid them. One month abroad, in four different countries was a great and enriching experience but now as it reached its end, you wanted to get some rest and tell the story of the journey to your friends and family. At the same time, you wanted to extend up to at least one week and just re-do some touristy stuff.</p><p> </p><p>“By the way, what are you planning on doing when we come back?” he asked curiously. “We haven’t had the opportunity to talk about that.”</p><p>“Well, I plan on applying somewhere,” you said, thinking about cities you wanted to live in your home country. “Though I really want to go for a Master right now, I really want to work too so, you know, I’m still thinking.”<br/>“Why not do both? Work full-time and have a degree part-time? Well, that’s easier to say but I’m sure you can do it,” he proposed.<br/>“I don’t know if I can keep up, to be honest. I finished my dissertation and it has been a pain in the ass, not sure if I can do uni work again,” you laughed, thinking about the pile of textbooks you had when you were writing it.<br/>“Then take a gap year, get a working visa somewhere,” he proposed again, determined to advise you.<br/>“Do I have enough money to support my application?”<br/>“You have your savings for your flat, you can use them instead—“<br/>“Oh no, it took me three years!” you whined. “And I really want to have my own place, not a shared flat or a dorm!”<br/>“Kinda get that,” he said. “What will your flat look like?”<br/><br/>You described how you would decorate it, which furniture you wanted, how you wanted to have the light in your bedroom, whether you wanted a shower or a bath; if you preferred electric or induction hobs; if you wanted to be closer to the city centre... you even had a preferred floor plan in your mind that you drew with your fingers.<br/><br/>“That’s pretty detailed,” he commented.<br/>“I know! And you, what are you gonna do?”<br/>“Eventually find a team,” he said, still unsure of his idea. He had said days before that he still haven’t found a team and people where he felt home — and this still bothered him in joining a team. “But I don’t know where, to be honest. I have some offers I haven’t replied to and I’m still thinking if I can’t search a little bit more for the team, you know.”<br/>“Actually,” you started. “It takes time to feel home, you know. You can’t know the spirit of a team just by competing against them once. You know when you think about your friends now, remember the day you met them? You didn’t think that they’ll become an important part of your life, though they did. I think it’s pretty much the same for teams, you have to give it a go. Maybe your teammates will become your best friends — and if not, leave it and go somewhere else; I know that sounds easier than what it actually is but—“<br/>“Thanks, [Name], you’re right,” he said with a smile.<br/>“I’m not right, just saying what I think,” you retorted, flicking his nose.<br/>“Ouch!” he laughed. “That’s why I love you, you know.”<br/><br/>He naturally took you by the waist, the gesture bringing you closer to him. You froze, the sudden contact making you wonder whether you had a hearing hallucination or whether you were dreaming. His touch wasn’t anything but <em>friendly</em> for sure.<br/><br/>“As a friend, you mean?” you immediately said, correcting him before he could speak — he misspoke, love had a romantic connotation and he seemed to have forgotten.<br/>“Not really,” he sighed, his voice slightly trembling. “Actually, [Name] let’s be honest now.”</p><p> </p><p>You nodded, waiting for him to speak.</p><p><br/>“Y<span>ou’</span><span>re</span><span> confusing me. You keep on giving me hints but you’re not making any move and I don’t know what’s it supposed to mean nor what I should do.”<br/>“What are you talking about?” you asked, legitimately confused. “I’m </span><span><em>what.</em></span><span>”<br/>“Should I make it clear?” </span><span>he asked, his thumb affectionately stroking your back.</span></p><p>“Please do,” you replied, looking at him in the eye, blushing as you anticipated his clarification.</p><p>“<span>I love you.”</span><br/><br/></p><p>Part of you was jumping and screaming as if you had won the lottery and the other half of you was panicking and wondering if you weren’t dreaming.</p><p><br/>“I can’t believe it, how? I thought it was one-sided,” you said, laughing nervously — you were even trembling. “What the fuck Natsu, am I dreaming?”<br/><br/>He chuckled, enjoying seeing your confusion and getting an answer to his confession at the same time — right, <em>right?</em><br/><br/>“I should be dreaming then,” he said, bringing even closer, feeling his warmth on your body, making you giggle.<br/>“Since when?” you asked, curious.<br/>“Quite a long time,” he wondered. “I don’t really remember but maybe when we graduated high school I think,” he replied.<br/>“Why didn’t you tell me anything?”<br/>“Why? We were both about to have a new life and see new things, meet new people and our paths were so different, I didn’t want you to tie down with me while we wouldn’t see each other, you know. And you, why did you keep on giving me hints without making any move? It was so frustrating.”<br/>“Basically the same reason and I always thought that you only saw me as a childhood friend. And I wasn’t giving any hints I swear,” you added with a pout.<br/>“You did,” he teased. “Your gaze is way too long for someone who’s my childhood friend.”<br/><br/>You hugged him, burying your face against his torso, hiding your blushed and euphoric face.<br/><br/>“I hate you! I swear I wasn’t doing any of these!” you whined, frustrated at how observant he was — how he looked at you during all this time and you not noticing it.<br/>“Why didn’t you make any move if you saw these so-called signs? You knew my feelings!”<br/>“You were always making it unclear about your feelings,” he said with a smile you could barely see because of the dark.<br/>“I didn’t want you to know!”<br/>“Why?” he chuckled, cupping your cheeks to see you a little more clearly despite the darkness.</p><p>“I was sure that I would be rejected!” you whined.</p><p>“You can’t know without trying.”<br/><br/>A natural silence fell between you, both exhausted to talk back. His breath was brushing your lips, eager to kiss you but it seemed he waited for you to engage, knowing how shy and nervous you were at the moment. How unfair.<br/><br/>“Are you going to kiss or keep staring?” he asked with a huskier voice than before, making it obvious that he wanted you to kiss him first.<br/><br/>You cupped his cheeks, firstly brushed your lips against his and captured them for a what was supposed to be a brief greeting kiss — you couldn’t resist but go for a deeper kiss as his hand on your nape pressured for more to the point that you were both breathless at the moment your lips parted to catch up your breath; even so, you found the opportunity to give him a few pecks on the corners of his lips, making him grin, bringing you on top of him, your legs on both sides of him, his hands on your back, his touch pulling you closer to his lips again. The view you had was way too amazing to describe. You’ve known him for years and thought you’d seen all his faces but there were plenty more of him to see from now on. You bit your lower lip, wondering whether you should take off your shirt as you felt his hands playing with your shirt, wondering if they could venture under or distract him with another kiss.<br/><br/>“You still haven’t told me,” he whispered as your lips parted.<br/>“Told you what?”<br/>“Your feelings,” he insisted, knowing that you would never tell him by yourself the words he wanted.<br/>“You know them.”<br/>“I don’t since you haven’t told me.”<br/>“We wouldn’t be doing that if you didn’t know them,” you remarked.<br/>“What’s that?”<br/><br/>You briefly kissed him, caressed his tongue with his — he replied back with a gentle bite on your lower lip, begging you to tell him the three magic words.<br/><br/>“Tell me,” he insisted like a child wanting his candy.<br/>“I love you,” you sighed, feeling your cheeks reddening again.<br/><br/>Then he rewarded with a deep kiss, so deep that you fell on your back, letting him hover you.<br/><br/>“You know what?” he whispered between two hungry kisses.<br/>“What?”<br/>“I was so mad at you when you kissed the guy in the nightclub.”<br/><br/>He wasn’t supposed to know for the kiss. At least, you thought he didn’t see Finn kiss you. <br/><br/>“How do you know?”<br/>“I saw him kiss you when I came back from the bathroom. I was so mad you can’t imagine how,” he said, planting a firm kiss on your neck.<br/>“Well sorry, I thought you weren’t interested in me,” you replied with a teasing grin.<br/>“That's partly why I was distant during the third week.”<br/>“Oh I see, you can be pretty immature,” you teased, slightly happy that you somehow managed to make him jealous.<br/>“I’m sorry okay? I haven’t been completely honest with you, I’m sorry.”<br/><br/>You kissed him again, unable to get bored with the taste of his lips.<br/><br/>“You’re forgiven.”<br/><br/>His hands finally gathered the courage to slide under your shirt though they still were a little shy.<br/><br/>“You can,” you told him, guiding his wrist to your waist — his touch was burning and maybe you shouldn’t have because you were on the verge of melting and your heart couldn’t handle it.<br/><br/>He didn’t take long to pull your shirt up, revealing your breasts that you instinctively hid with your arms, suddenly shy.<br/><br/>“Come on!” he laughed, trying to open your arms. “Let me see you!”<br/>“That’s unfair,” you whined, giving up in resisting as his touch overwhelmed you. “I’m the only one who’s half-naked.”<br/>“And?” he asked.<br/>“You should make some efforts,” you retorted, sliding your hands under his shirt, convincing him to undress of his shirt.<br/>“I see,” he said as laid down next to you, leading you on top of him again, taking off your shirt in the meantime. As he was shirtless, you nestled against him, feeling his heartbeat against your chest — trying to calm yours. You knew that you wouldn’t survive to see him in the daylight although you did a thousand times when you were in school. It was way different now and the simple fact of feeling him right now could make you faint.<br/><br/>His finger caressed your spine, tickling you — you resisted for a few seconds but it didn’t take long for him to notice and he kept on teasing you until you arched your back, allowing him to kiss your neck before capturing your lips again. Each of his kisses tasted differently — this one was wanting, impatient and maybe a little demanding. <em>Oh</em>, he was making you feel so good you wouldn’t be able to stop him, you wanted him so badly.<br/><br/><br/>He pushed you down, hovering you and kissed every little part of your body, enjoying every bit of it with his hands, especially lingering on your breasts, cherishing them — <em>where did he learn of all of that?</em> The room was now filled with your heavy breathing and the sucking sound of his hundred kisses; he was going down on you when he suddenly stopped.<br/><br/>“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop,” he warned, facing you again before burying his head on the crook of your neck, taking both of your hands, entwining fingers with yours.<br/>“I don’t want you to stop.”<br/>“I really want to make you love, you know,” he confessed shyly as he lifted his head to see you.<br/><br/>Your heart skipped a beat, surprised by his honesty, sending you an electric shock of pleasure down your spine.<br/><br/>“Please don’t stop,” you replied, slightly insisting, cupping his cheeks.<br/>“But that’s not what I really want <em>right now</em>.”<br/>“Is there anything wrong...?” you asked, apprehending his answer.<br/>“You know, part of me really wants to make you love all night,” he sighed, resting his forehead against yours. “And the other part feels it’s all rushed right now and wants to take my time and save it for later.”<br/><br/>Taking the time — he must have noticed how nervous and uncontrollable your heartbeat was because you could hardly think straight. The seriousness of his confession made you speechless — his kindness touched you and never have you ever felt so lucky to be loved.<br/><br/>“Kinda get that,” you said with a euphoric smile. “Thank you. To be honest, though, I’m dying to have you now,” you shamelessly admitted, feeling his growing bulge between your legs.<br/>“I know, but I’ve got no condoms anyways,” he admitted.<br/><br/>His hand left the dangerous territory of your body and kissed you again, however less passionately and hungry of you but still as affectionate and tenderly.<br/><br/>“It’s better to stop now, then,” you said as you gave him a peck on the cheek, unable to let him go without a simple kiss. “But what do you mean you didn’t bring any condoms?” you teased.<br/>“Did you?”<br/>“No.”<br/>“You’ve got your answer. I wasn’t planning on having anything with you,” he said, stroking your cheeks.<br/>“Seriously? Going on a trip for one month with your crush and not bringing any condoms? You’ve gotta kidding me,” you teased.<br/>“You didn’t bring any, who are you to laugh at me?” he whined.<br/>“If I were you, I would definitely have tried something and brought some just in case.”<br/>“Then why didn’t you bring any?”<br/>“I wasn’t thinking of doing anything with you!”<br/>“You’ve got your answer, now shut up,” he said as his lips closed on yours again, taking away your retort and your giggles.<br/><br/>He laid down next to you, pulled you for a hug and you nestled against him, feeling comfortable and safe.<br/><br/>“Besides, you didn’t try anything with me before I did,” he remarked.<br/>“Shut up, we won’t be able to wake up tomorrow.”<br/>“Speaking of tomorrow, we better set up an alarm,” he said, reaching for his phone. “It’s already three.”<br/>“Let’s say ten,” you said, setting an alarm for yourself as well.<br/>“Got it. Good night.”</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help but press a kiss on your forehead before hugging you tighter before you both fell asleep.<br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p><br/>•<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p><br/><br/>The strident sound of your alarm woke you up in less than a second. Natsuya was still asleep despite the fact that his alarm rung three times before yours — you were slightly awake before yours rung but the motivation to really wake up wasn’t there.<br/>As soon as you glanced at him shirtless, you remembered the last night. It was only a few hours ago and it felt so unrealistic. You retrieved your shirt to wear it, making you recall all the kisses and confessions that felt so realistic but still made you question whether you were dreaming or not.<br/><br/>You shook him to wake him up, reminding him that you had a flight to catch in less than ten hours and that pass all the border checks again. You had to get some breakfast and eventually make some sandwiches to avoid buying overpriced ones at the airport. He groaned, still in his dreams and you sighed, this was going to take quite a long time.<br/><br/>“Natsu, wake up!” you yelled at him. “We said we would wake up at ten!” you reminded him.<br/><br/>You remembered the first day you stayed at a hostel, he was the one who had to wake you up — now you were the one who had to struggle for it.<br/><br/>“We have to eat breakfast,” you said, looking at your phone to check the time. “Breakfast is available till eleven here, right? It’s already half ten!”<br/>“We can order room service,” he muttered. “Check if that’s included in our voucher,” he said, reaching for the invoice of the hotel to hand it to you — to read all the terms and conditions.<br/><br/>Indeed it was included. The voucher was quite generous, you wished more flights were cancelled and that you got allocated to luxurious hotels — though it was only luck. You took a look on the menu and quickly decided what you would take and handed it to Natsuya who was still half-sleep.<br/><br/>“Get up! I’m gonna order room service,” you said, reaching for the telephone of the room.<br/><br/>You dialled the number and immediately got the staff ready to take your order. You ordered your favourite breakfast dish and waited for Natsuya to tell you his order — he still looked unsure.<br/><br/>“Can I have the classic breakfast?” he asked, showing you on the menu.<br/>“Okay,” you said as you told his order, “How do you like your eggs?” you asked Natsuya, as the menu proposed a range of different choices.<br/>“Do you know it’s sexual?” he said with a teasing grin, knowing that it would unsettle you on the telephone. He seemed totally awake now, you wondered why.<br/>“Shut up!” you shushed him. “Sunny-side up,” you randomly replied although Natsuya hadn’t said anything. “Yes, that’s all. In half an hour? Perfect, thank you.”<br/><br/>You hung up the telephone, let out a sigh of relief.<br/><br/>“What do you mean it’s sexual?” you asked. “I just asked you how you liked your eggs. And how dare you saying that in the morning, and when I’m on the telephone, you’re embarrassing!” you whined.<br/><br/>He got closer to you, stole you a kiss on the corner of your lips, helplessly making you smile — the ultimate confirmation that you hadn’t been dreaming this night.<br/><br/>“Think about it.”<br/>“Tell me, you’re the one who started,” you pouted.<br/>“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”<br/><br/>He could definitely read your mind at the moment, seeing how red was your face.<br/><br/>“Eggs... ovaries... fertilised? Oh okay,” you said, realising how it was pretty easy to guess.<br/>“Well, there’s this meaning and another one, but they’re kinda related.”<br/>“What’s the other meaning?”<br/>“<em>Wanna stay over and fuck?</em>”<br/><br/>You blushed at the sound of his husky, suggestive voice — and probably his intentions behind.<br/><br/>“Wh— What does it have to do with breakfast?”<br/>“Actually, nothing, it just asks if you want to spend the night with me but if you want, I can cook breakfast for you,” he explained.<br/>“That’s kinda cute, I’ll definitely remember that,” you said with a smile.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Believe me or not, this whole fic started because of a simple tweet saying that <i>"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"</i> has nothing to do with cooking breakfast nor knowing how we like our eggs to be cooked in the morning. I was so shocked, I thought (like many other innocent people) that it meant that the person (or the date) wanted to know our culinary tastes. Well... Not really actually, I was like: I thought they wanted to cook breakfast for us... which is kinda cute if you do the deed in the night but anyway-- I actually wrote this part first, before all other ones and it escalated to a 20k words fics... I'M SORRY!!</p><p>I'm a sucker for "There was only one bed" trope, I mean!!! I don't know how to explain, like... JUST!! It's so funny and fluffy and well...I didn't want it to lead to <i>you-know-what</i> but anyway I enjoyed writing this part so much!! There are not many options in what you can do in a bed (okay I definitely sound weird I know) but well, I know at least that there's not only <i>this activity</i> lol... (I can't stop laughing at what I'm writing).</p><p>I know this chapter is basically all fanfictions clichés and hmm.... I'm a sucker for those, I kinda like writing them because I don't have to use my brain power too much... I don't have much at first but I sometimes use it so...</p><p>Anyway, the thing is that I actually got my flight back home cancelled, I was so upset and I panicked so much?? The company didn't send me an email nor anything, I had actually coincidentally checked my ticket online and saw that my flight was cancelled I was... "NO FUCK I HAVE TO GO BACK BY TOMORROW HOLY--" If I knew that my flight was cancelled at the airport, I would have panicked so much, obvs they offer accommodation for most of the time (but I doubt they are fancy lol) to catch the next flight but hey... I'm a beginner traveller and it was my first time travelling alone by plane and ughghg -- sometimes I wish I can travel with someone so I feel less stressed in case if such events happen</p><p>Hope you enjoyed reading and next week is the final chapter!! Thank you for bearing with me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. [6]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You successfully board on the plane, luggage checked-in and papers in order, you can finally relax during the long-haul, watching films and sleeping, though uncomfortably compared to the last night. The thought of it only was enough to make you giddy and him holding your hand, fingers intertwined before the take-off wasn’t helping at all in calming your heartbeat. I just like to hold your hand, he had said when you asked why he clung on it during the whole journey.<br/><br/>“Stop saying cheesy things,” you whined when the plane landed home. “If you say that in front of my parents, I’ll—“<br/>“You’ll?” he asked, waiting for you to continue.<br/>“Nothing,” you said, keeping it for yourself.<br/><br/>Your parents were picking both of you at the airport to drive you home and you clearly weren’t ready for the avalanche of questions from them if they saw you holding hands with Natsuya — you were childhood friends so you expected them to tease you about good old memories but you were more than certain they would ask if anything had happenned between you and ask for details later. You weren’t mentally prepared for it, you’d certainly never be but after a long journey, you just wanted some peace at home.<br/><br/>“And stop looking so kissable,” you complained as you walked towards the luggage collection lobby.<br/><br/>His lips curled into a smile inviting you to kiss him. You sighed.<br/><br/>“Then kiss me,” he challenged you. “Your suitcase will take some time to come, I guess.”<br/>“Not now.”<br/>“When?”<br/>“Later,” you said nonchalantly. <br/>“I want the kiss now,” he demanded — he seldom asked for anything, taking you by surprise.<br/>“Then kiss me,” you teased back.<br/><br/>He gave up in following-up the game in a groan, giving you a peck on your lips, making you blissfully grin.<br/><br/>“The suitcase is coming,” you said, pointing at it, waiting for it to arrive to reach them. It didn’t take long as expected and you were glad because it meant that you could rest sooner.<br/>“I still can’t believe you love me,” he sighed, thinking out loud.<br/>“I’ve been living my ten past years thinking my love was one-sided, I can’t help but...”<br/>“You better get used to,” he warned, taking your suitcase to place it on the trolley.<br/>“Look at you, being gallant all of sudden! I can’t believe it!” you teased, though appreciating his gesture.<br/>“Let’s go,” he said in a fake pout, pushing you towards the last gate, to the arrivals lobby, where your parents waited for both of you.<br/><br/>As soon as they saw you, they waved at you and immediately ran towards you, smiling as it had been a month without much news — they weren’t bothered as it meant you were both having fun for them.<br/>They greeted Natsuya first and thanked him for taking care of you during the journey, making you blush; they always had been taking care of him as if he were your brother, you couldn’t possibly imagine telling them that he was your boyfriend now, though they wouldn’t have trouble to get used to this new relationship between you two.<br/><br/>They took your suitcase, your backpack and Natsuya’s while walking towards the airport’s parking, a long maze you hated — finding buses and taxis were already an ordeal for you so you hated car parks but thanks to their good sense of orientation, it all went smoothly and soon you were slouching in the back seats with Natsuya, ready to take a nap.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/><br/>• <br/><br/></p><p><br/>You woke up by arriving in front of Natsuya’s house when your parents started had just parked — both of you were sleeping.<br/><br/>“Oh it’s fine,” you heard Natsuya saying while getting off the car. “She’s tired, she can meet up my parents later.”<br/><br/>You fully woke up by his words, you had to at least greet his parents as it had been a while since you haven’t met them, you had to show your face and give some news.<br/><br/>“Yo,” you said as you got off the car, following them to the entrance.<br/><br/>He rang once at the bell to let his parents that they had guests before opening the door by himself where he was greeted by his mother by the threshold. She smiled as she saw you and your parents and thanked you for taking care of Natsuya during the journey — parents were definitely the same. They invited you inside for a tea and a long chit-chat between parents and although you wanted to sleep in your bed, you just couldn’t refuse.<br/>Noticing your exhaust after a few minutes of conversation, his mother proposed his son to take you in his room to use his bed to get some rest — this definitely made you blush and you said that you’d be fine laying on the sofa and simply resting – not sleeping. Nothing changed from the old times though, when you were still in primary school when your parents used to meet up every week for a tea and you’d play upstairs. You could’ve asked to return home but you felt bad; although it wouldn’t change anything from sleeping in his bedroom, you were staying there for the presence. In the end, she convinced you to rest in his son’s bedroom, where it would be quieter than the living room.<br/><br/>While your parents were enjoying their cup of tea and the chit-chat that would last hours, you were drowsing on Natsuya’s bed – he sat next to you, putting a lock of your hair away of your forehead.<br/><br/>“Goodnight.”</p><p>“You’re not gonna take a nap?” you asked, noticing the dark rings under his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He smirked – you blushed, realising that maybe you shouldn’t have asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to?”</p><p>“If you’re tired… I will feel bad for taking the bed, you know,” you said, genuinely thinking about his well-being.</p><p>“Well, then…”</p><p> </p><p>He laid down next to you, pulling you closer – not that you weren’t expecting it, but it still surprised you that even a simple gesture as hugging has become natural in a few days – <em>hours? </em>Naturally, you hugged him back before falling asleep immediately.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>•</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After coming back home, your parents soon found out about Natsuya and you and you had to bear with their questions. <em>Since when? Where? How?</em> You weren’t planning on hiding your relationship but you’d rather avoid their questions, that you ended up answering just to be left in peace to working on your job application. You soon got offered a position in the company you had interned and soon hunted flat in the city you had studied for three years — it wasn’t in the university neighbourhood so the atmosphere was way different and you felt like you had moved in another city. You had visited a few flats before going for your favourite one and you were lucky enough to sign the lease soon after the viewing. <br/><br/>Then, things accelerated, you had to buy all your furniture, take measurements and see if they fitted in your rooms, and arrange a day for the delivery — and for your moving from home. In the meantime, you had some paperwork to complete and you had hardly the time to relax. You only have had two weeks after your return from the journey, then got offered the position. You preferred replying the fastest as possible and after hours of debating the pros and cons with Natsuya, you ended up accepting. He also replied to the offer of a team based on the other side of the ocean and soon he got busy with all the paperwork that you couldn’t meet nor talk to each other for a while. You didn’t miss him — you didn’t have the time but the thought of a long-distance relationship did leave you a bittersweet taste and he had asked you if it bothered you; he would have chosen to enter in the national team if it did but you refused and told him to go where he felt the vibes of a team he felt he belonged in — not where you were, just because you were in a relationship. You didn’t hesitate on telling him that, as you genuinely wanted him to do whatever he wanted, but you soon realised that he would be far away, with different people... The thought frightened you, but both of you were so independent it could actually be worse if you met each other more often and if the issue was only meeting other people with whom he could possibly have a relationship, chances were even in your home country in a different city (or even the same city), you quit on overthinking — and you loved each other for years without telling each other and dating others, why would it flinch because you were miles away from each other? It has always been like this.<br/><br/><br/>When the day of your moving and furniture delivery got confirmed, you sighed of relief, finally getting some stress release before you had to pack all your clothes into boxes — you knew it would be a struggle and you had to prepare yourself mentally for that. At the same time, Natsuya was sorted with his paperwork and had some time to relax before he takes off — one month after moving. He was free to help you out and you gladly accepted his offer, as your parents were busy to help you — and you worried about them as they were getting old, if they were able to carry your stuff and assemble a heavy piece of furniture.<br/><br/><br/>Today was the big day, you woke up way earlier than planned, excited for your moving. You had been restless for the few past days, stressed of forgetting something major while you had paid attention to everything — it wasn’t your type to be clumsy and irresponsible of yo stuff but you were so scared of the if factor, we never know. What if you forgot the keys to your flat in your parent’s house?<br/><br/><br/>Well, you didn’t and although you didn’t have to praise yourself for such an obvious action, you couldn’t help but smile when you proudly opened your entrance for the first time. Natsuya came with you and it was the first time he was seeing the flat — he had seen the photos you had taken.<br/><br/>“It’s really a place I can definitely picture you living in,” he said, patting to your head.<br/>“I know right? I really had a crush on this flat!” you exclaimed as you took his hand to lead him in the different rooms and describe him how the pieces of furniture would be placed and how you would decorate them.<br/>“I’m looking forward to visiting you.”<br/><br/>Soon after the short visit, your pieces of furniture and boxes were delivered and although it had been a struggle to put all the boxes somewhere, you managed to have everything sorted in less than an hour. You started from assembling your bed — a queen-sized one because it was your dream to have a bigger bed than a narrow, single bed; it meant more pillows — then your sofa, desk and to finish with your shelves. You knew it would take at least three days and you just wanted to have your bed done to not sleep in your car. And you couldn’t deny that you wanted to take a step further with Natsuya.<br/><br/><br/>Assembling furniture with him almost felt like he was going to live with you — as if you had rented together and done all the paperwork with him. Part of you was excited of the thought, maybe one day you will settle together but the other half of you didn’t want him to be around all the time, as you wanted to be alone to be relaxed — it wasn’t his presence that disturbed you, you just wanted to have your own space just for you. Maybe you would change your mind in the next few months but at the moment, you didn’t feel ready to live with him — and perhaps neither did he, and it’s not about the love you had for each other. It was about you and the relationship you had with yourself — you weren’t ready to live with someone who had to bear with you when you couldn’t stand yourself sometimes.<br/><br/><br/>You had only built your bed, your desk and a few shelves that you were worn-out — you didn’t even follow your programme of assembling your sofa and all you wanted was to eat and sleep. Natsuya had ordered takeaway while you were taking a long and well-deserved shower to relax before doing your bed with your favourite and fresh bedding. By the time you finished showering, the food was delivered and he was waiting for you to start eating — he had ordered your all the time favourite food, you almost cried when you saw them.<br/><br/>“I really love you...” you muttered as you sat on the floor — you still hadn’t built the table nor the chairs.<br/>“Are you talking to me or to the food?” he teased with a grin, raising an eyebrow.<br/>“You know already.”<br/><br/>He stole you a kiss on the cheek before he started eating, making you blush — it had been so long since you haven’t been intimate, you somehow missed this part of him.<br/><br/>“Are you ready to leave in a month?” you asked between two mouthfuls.<br/>“Yeah, still have things to pack but I’m done with paperwork and finances,” he said, listing all the things he had to do in the past weeks. “I can’t wait.”<br/>“Have you talked to your team?”<br/>“Yeah, we have a group chat and we text almost every day.”<br/>“Do you reply to them?” you curiously asked, knowing his habit of leaving people on <em>read </em>because he was too lazy to reply right away, ending up forgetting to do it later.<br/>“Yeah,” he laughed. “Getting to know each other, hanging out... that kind of stuff.”<br/>“It’s good to hear that you’re getting along with them,” you smiled, relieved. “Can’t wait for you to go and meet them.”<br/>“Same.”<br/>“I’m so glad that you found your way,” you said. “You spent so much time travelling, I respect and envy you for that but I was so worried that you could never find your home, not home <em>home</em> but—“<br/>“Thanks,” he shyly smiled. “I was kinda lost these past years, so yeah, I’m glad that I found something to cling on. Apart from that, I really wanted to see other things before committing myself to a team.”<br/>“I’m so envious of you, travelling, seeing so many things, doing what you want when you want...” you wondered aloud.<br/>“You’re actually doing that too,” he remarked. “Moving out of your parents’ house and go miles away from them to study your degree, get the internship you wanted, then take their job offer — if you didn’t want to, you could’ve rejected it; you’ve hunted flats and rented one all by yourself, you’re actually doing what you want, you know.”<br/>“Kinda,” you smirked. “But you’re more adventurous than me and you seem to make every decision very quickly and in a more mature way than me—“<br/>“I’m me and you’re you, you’re making your decision in the way that seems right for you and I’m doing the same but we’re different, you know? It’s not because I do that <em>that way</em> that you have to do it the same way, and it’s okay.”<br/>“Guess you’re right. I’m just being anxious about doing everything by myself, though I’ve been doing that for the past three years, it feels so different now.”<br/>“It’s gonna be alright, don’t worry,” he said as he lightly pinched your cheek. “I know you.”<br/>“I hope so. Thank you.”<br/>“No worries.”<br/><br/>You finished eating soon after you started — you were starving and you didn’t even have noticed it. You threw your cardboard dishes and utensils, swept a little bit your room while he was organising the remaining furniture to facilitate the assembling for tomorrow.<br/><br/>“By the way, you’re not gonna miss me?” he suddenly asked.<br/>“I will!” you whined. “But I can’t help it and it’s okay, who am I to tie you down from going abroad?”<br/>“Well, you’re my girlfriend.”<br/><br/>You really liked the sound of the word on his tongue. His <em>g</em><em>irlfriend.</em><br/><br/>“And does that mean that a girlfriend has a right over your decisions? She may advise you, give her opinion but can she decide for you? Not in my definition.”<br/><br/>Natsuya smiled, took you by the waist and pulled you for a kiss.<br/><br/>“I really love you, you know.”<br/><br/>You grinned, blushing and speechless. You cupped his cheeks to kiss him again — you missed him, and you were going to miss him.</p><p> </p><p><br/>“Natsu...” you muttered between two kisses. “<em>How do you like your eggs in the morning?</em>”<br/><br/>He chuckled, captured your lips again with delight, making your smile even larger, almost hurting your cheeks.<br/><br/>“You already know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>IT'S FINALLY FINISHED!! THANK YOU FOR READING, HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT!!</p><p>I wasn't originally planning on writing an epilogue as I thought: "well they end up together, no surprise" but I wanted to talk about their future even more because it makes me dream ahah -- basically, I felt that through them, I could envision my own future and what kind of path I wanted to have after finishing my studies lol (basically travel a little before having my first job if I can lol *please I hope it will be okay I have to work very hard <strike>thing that I'm not doing right now</strike>*</p><p>Reader is like the person I want to be in the future, ambitious and very independent, capable of managing her life and just be... honest to herself (and having a super nice partner like Natsuya but that's another question ahah), and be open-minded... I hope you liked her;; Readers characters are supposed to be generic (in my opinion) so everybody can identify themselves in, so I understand that someone people felt: 'wtf?? I'll never do that/act that way' and that's okay, I often feel that when I read xReaders too! We're all different after all, but maybe in this one, Reader was maybe eccentric as I put a lot of myself in her. <br/>I don't know, I'm often told that I'm not "normal"; like you know, not actively looking for a relationship  while my friends are super into that thing, I just want to chill with my life right now and they be asking "don't you wanna marry and have kids, like be in a stable relationship?" and I'm saying: well I enjoy being alone and better be alone than in bad company and they said "oh you'll gonna end up alone with cats" and..maybe yes but I would feel bad for cats in that case. I'm spending my quarantine alone and chilling but when I think of the future, it makes me excited and anxious at the same time, and when I listen to my friends and their want to be in relationship (or their crushes) and when they ask me when I'll be into that thing I just say: I'm not interested in, I just feel like I'm strange (while I guess I'm not), that maybe they'll pity me when they'll invite me to their wedding ceremony and: "oh so you're still single?" and me: "yes" -- I'm overthinking as always :yeehaw: and I shouldn't be thinking that much but... yeah</p><p>Sorry for the vent, but as my mother says, "you watched so many animes with good guys, your standards are too high for the real life"</p><p>ANYWAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! LOVE Y'ALL</p>
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